Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Friday, August 21, 2009

Bloody Wednesday ..

Ramadan the month of peace and forgiveness, that all Muslims wait eagerly, it helps us to be more patient and more understanding, we fast from sunrise to sunset, and continue our day despite the hunger and thirst.
Before Ramadan, people who have disputes, must forget it and forgive, that's why it is the month of forgiveness, and also the rich people offer food and money (more than any time in the years) to the paupers, so it is the month of merciful and blessing.
I was hoping that this Ramadan will bring peace to Iraq, and that we won't spend more Ramadans under gun fires and explosions.
But, few days before Ramadan starts, Baghdad witnessed a bloody day, it was named " the bloody Wednesday" and "the red Wednesday" , it brought back old memories, of "black Wednesday "of last year..
In the morning of Wednesday, huge explosions happened if the capital, killing, injuring, and frightening the innocents .. the government didn't say the true numbers of people who died and injured, they were afraid of a "revolution" or "a panic situation" .. but from doctors we know that 1700 citizens were injured, and more than 500 died ..
I was so afraid about my relatives and grandparents, but thank god they are ok, but very upset ..
I don't know when will the government wake up from their torpor.. we are sick of their speeches and promises, we want a solution , but nobody cares, all they care about is stealing the country more and more..
The politicians are not Iraqi, they don't feel our pain, Wednesday was the most horrible day in Iraqis lives, all you could see is blood and dead people in streets, and people running, all you could hear is the shouts of mothers crying, all you could feel is a scare.. few hours after explosions, Baghdad became a city of ghosts, the streets where empty ..
Many questions are in my mind, why didn't the soldiers notice the lorry bombs which carried 10 tons of explosives ? who did those explosions and who helped those terrorists? For how long shall this situation continue? Will we live in peace ? I am still alive I wonder and wonder, but I find no answer.
I won't talk more, I'll let the pictures speak, and believe me, there are horrifying pics that I didn't have enough courage to look at ..


Friday, August 14, 2009

Why? For how long?....

The situation didn't get any better for so long, everyday I pray that security will come with the next sunrise, and in the morning I wake up and hear all of those explosions and say to myself, maybe this night will be peaceful, or next morning, that's how I've been living for almost 6 years, wondering and hoping ..
I have so much faith, and say to myself God is protecting me and the people I love, and continue my life, but sometimes I wake up feeling tension, having headache and start to call and check my family members, hear news, and whenever I hear sound of explosions I go to the roof to see it's direction ..
sometimes I just cry, and ask god why do we have to live under this horrible situation, why can't we wake up feeling secured, I want to be able to go out to gardens and markets, I want to visit nice places..
I am ready to replace all of the things I have, internet, laptop, money, jewels, everything, with a safe place where I can see my family and relatives safe, enjoying their health..
few days ago, at 5 am, I woke up, I felt like I heard explosion or two, I though it is a nightmare or so and came back to sleep, at 10 and half a.m., my grandma said "did you see what happened in the Shabak's village?" I switched on the Tv. And heard a reporter saying "the village "Khazna" witnessed annihilating at about 5 am, while those innocents were still asleep … "
I felt my body shaking, I am in the city, and I heard an explosion many kilometers away, oh my god..
The terrorists who have no ethics, no religion and no humanity exploded two lorries full of explosives , as there's curfew in Mosul at that time, the two lorries must came from Kurdistan, the governor said " the check points in Kurdistan check every car and vehicle enter Kurdistan, and know if a pin enter Kurdistan, but they pay no attention for what goes out" and he is right, they care about Kurdistan only..
My grandma was crying, all the Mosul citizens, all the Iraqis, feel each other's pain, I took my mobile and took few pics..
I don't know anyone in that village , when I saw the huge explosions, and the dead people, the kids who died and the women who are weeping, the men who can't stand on their feet from the shock and sorrow, I wanted to run to them and provide them help ,I can't change the government, but I can write, and let the world know the truth..
Couple of days ago the policemen noticed a suspicious lorry , in Badoosh village, the lorry was going towards Al Quba, were the majority of it's citizens are Shiites, they found 24 barrels of TNT.

the situation became so unbearable, everyday neighborhoods witness huge explosions, the cultic fights became more horrifying and savage..
the sons and daughters of Mesopotamia are getting killed and no one of those politicians is paying attention..
There are deputies between the politicians but the victims are the innocents .. the political parties revenge from each other by exploding their rebate's neighborhoods , it is crazy , instead of fighting each other!!..
My dad's friend belongs to the Shabak's cast (the Shabak are kurds but they are against Kurdistan's government, and they are Shiites Muslims) my dad called to see how he and his family doing after a horrifying explosion which was heard all over the city he said " I buried today 41 bodies, and there are more under the wreckage " my dad became speechless, imagine loosing 41 person in one day, family members, relatives, friends, kids, women, old and young.. it is unfair.. in few minutes hundreds lost their houses, hundreds were killed, and hundreds are suffering from severe injuries, they may die, or live cretins or handicapped.
Why ?what was their guilt…..
The government does nothing but saying " we reprove this attack", saying that will never bring us peace, but a real plan and hard working will. Actions speak louder than words .
Thank god, the policemen stopped the lorry, and saved hundreds of souls.
Good bless everyone care about iraq and Iraqis ..
I'll leave you with the pics..

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Unfairness is better than mercy !!!!!!!!!!...

I've talked a lot about the changes that happened in our life since war began, non of them shows the democracy and freedom..
Before war, there weren't any differences between Shiites and Sunnis, actually I didn't even know to which cast do I belong to!
But unfortunately our government is trying to make huge differences between us, so the two casts start to feel jealous, hate and hurts each other but Shiites and Sunnis have been living together for thousands of years and even married each other!!!.
Few days ago the students in Iraq got the marks of the ministerial exams, the most important exam in our life which will specify our future career..
To the great surprise for the students the marks were so unfair and low, I got 85.8 % and I am so lucky many are envying me!!
Every year about 60 students from my school join medicine, pharmacy and dentistry collages, their makes are higher than 90% but this year only 33 passed the exams !!!!!!!!!! only five from our class took marks in 90es ! it is insane.
With teary eyes and shock, I took a look in the web and saw that in some schools only 7 or 8 students passed the exams and in other schools in my city NO ONE passed the exams ..I started to wonder why ?
My friend called me crying also "there must be a huge mistake, no one we know took a high par" my friend said. The phone kept ringing, and no one was believing the crazy situation, most of the intelligent students who had 98 or 97 as final pars before the ministerial exams , failed, they'll have to repeat the 6th grade, others had 60% only or so, everyone was speechless!!
My lecturers in private classes and school teachers still believe I deserve 95% or so, but in the same time they say I must thank god because I passed, my physics teacher said his student which is a genius girl failed in 6 subjects "they didn't even mark her paper, they said she was absent in 6 exams but she attended them and answered well" he said .. I kept hearing such tragic stories
In Anrbar, Mosul, Diala, al Aa'thamya the marks were so unfair, in Anbar the ministry didn't mark the papers for 27 exam sectors, and decided to re-exam them, in A'athamyia the marks are worse than in everywhere else, students with their parents, professors started to demonstrate, one of the parents said "if they say the people in the south are more clever and they deserve the high marks they got, well I demand the minister to bring the student who took the highest marks to compete with my daughter, she is so clever, it is unfair she got very low marks" ..
but don't you notice that all of these places are for Sunnis ??
Everyone knows that the students are the victims of politicians disputes.
Each year, Mosul , Baghdad, and Hela, have the best ratio of success and high marks, unlike this year .
Now the iraqi media talks about our marks the whole time, even deputies, because the government is revenging from Sunnis.. governors, and important parties are demanding to re-mark our papers ..
Before we get the marks, I saw an interview with the person who's responsible of the ministerial exams and the marking in Dijla TV , he said " Karbal and Diwania have the best results ever, the students are busy with studying in these places, unlike those in other cities who are busy with other things beside school" and added " I ask the students not to be nervous, if they won't have high marks, so what, they can repeat the 6th class ones and twice and three times till they get it well " and then he added that during Saddam's rule the students in the south didn't take as high marks as they deserve, and now justice was settled!!
Well I don't see any justice ..
I felt sooo angry, the students in the north and middle are the cleverest but I kept watching with my heart beating fast and reminding myself he is just a bad person who's trying to part the iraqis ..
Then he said "there were some mistakes in the questions, but the humans make mistakes, we phoned SOME cities and corrected the questions "
At that time I was unable to continue the interview, I knew the marking will be unfair, my grandma was watching tv and crying, I said "grandma, what shall I do, the government is revenging from the Sunni students" ..
Then on Saturday I saw an interview with the minister he repeated three times that the students in the south have always been the best.

The huge difference between the students' marks in different Iraqi cities made the iniquitousness so evident..
one of the students got his marks and immediately had heart stroke because of the shock. it is so devastating to study so hard despite the dangerous situation, walk for long time in such hot weather in order to reach lectures when there's curfew, attend the exams, answer well, and then get so unexpected marks, WHY??
It is such a horrible government ,during Saddam's regime, who was dictator and despot ,the punishment of skulduggery in the ministerial questions, like selling them, or skulduggery in marking , the punishment was execution. when it comes to ministerial exams the rules were firm at his days. ..
For our government I'd like to say something:
I studied and prepared for the 6th grade so well, 16 months, at least 5860 hours of studying (12 hours per day, I usually study from 11 to 14 hours everyday) I tried to concentrate in spite of the hard situation, losing dear people, explosions and shooting, I did everything I could, I studied under the stairs during fights, my house was damaged for SEVEN times but I didn't give up ,I studied with chaos around me, I remember all the times I studied in the darkness till late time at night and used candles' light or torches, I walked for hours to reach the lectures at 2 pm while the temperature was more than 50 degrees, I didn't complain about carrying my books and searching for a room to study, as we closed all of the windows with wood because of the continuous explosions, I didn't care about the cold weather when the temperature in under zero degrees, or the hot weather in summer, I said, impossible in nothing for me, after all the suffering all I am asking you is to give us the result we deserve, based on our efforts and cleverness, not our cast or religions ..
Shiite or Sunni, I am Iraqi, and I'll rebuild Iraq in the future, if you like or not, I will not give up, my religion and cast doesn't matter, because I have a clear heart and unconditional love to Iraq, god will change what you damaged, we'll be great doctors, engineers and professors, it is right you didn't gave the Sunnis the marks they deserve, and gave Shiite students and those who are loyal for certain parties much higher marks, but it will not make us dislike each other, what happened made us even more determined to be important people in the future, so that Iraq will be lead by clever, educated , and respectful Iraqis, who don't part or treat people differently...
All I want to say is Saddam's unfairness is better than your mercy.