Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Monday, May 28, 2007

Can you live like that ?! CAN YOU ??????

I finished my exams , and finally I can rest now .. the questions were terribly hard , My dad's aunt is a teacher, she was shocked when she saw the questions !!.
I needed to concentrate and study hard in the last two weeks , but have a look to my diary!!.
On Wednesday , Najma's grandpa died , I felt terribly sad , he was a great man, may god bless his soul.
Lately My grandma ,who lives in Baghdad ,seemed tired from her voice , whenever my mom asked her, she answered "it is hot you know , and we don't have electricity" , or" I am worried about you all in Mosul" ,or" I am fine , don't worry " , but mama didn't believe , my grandma is too strong. On Sunday , mama called her and asked her what was going on:
-what's wrong mama? Why dad isn't at his work? He didn't go in the last few days?
- yes , that right, honey , I am afraid that there are bad news. your uncle M. was murdered..
- WHAT ? WHY ? WHEN ? why you hide that from me ? who killed him? ..
while I was listening to their talk on the phone, it was obvious to me that someone had died, I started to think whom , oh god , I was terrified , I was thinking about 100's of relatives and friends in the same time .. When mama finished this sad call , she told me " uncle M. was killed on Wednesday , he was killed because he was trying to save important financial papers for the company he work with , the terrorists surrounded him with three cars and shot him , and took the papers"
I was shocked , my eyes filled with tears , It was hard for me to understand , I was joking in the morning and laughing , and that was changed in a sec , my bright day became cloudy. My mom was sad because she lost her uncle , and she wasn't there near her mom .. When ever he visited grandma , he used to say to me " come and sit here ,but he was fat and It was hard to find a space to sit next to him on the couch ,then he used to say" mashallah you are growing up fast", and I used to complain about that!. They killed him immediately , but they called his family , they said "if you give us money we will give you your brother" , they wanted 15000$ , as soon as his brother knew about the kidnapping story he had a heart attack, he negotiated with those terrorists while he was in the hospital . the chaffer lasted for couple of days. without saying a word about his death.. Then M's daughter knew from her university lecturer , that her father is in the morgue since Wednesday , she called my grandma and told her " it is over , end the negotiations " . Uncle M's dream was to see his daughter graduation , she is determined to accomplish her dream and her father's dream , after the funeral , she stayed in my grandparents' house to study , she couldn't concentrate in her house , her exams will start soon . I also heard about another relative , who was kidnapped but freed versus money..
Try to concentrate in such circumstances?! In addition to a hot weather with out electricity (46 C. ), Can you ?? the Iraqis are the bravest human being , we absolutely deserve Guinness World Records for tolerance and patience .. hehehee .
That wasn't enough , LARGE explosions occurred and caused huge damages in many parts of Mosul ,4 schools badly damaged , my school was among them , the way to my school is now blocked , so I had to walk with my dad , we walked among the policemen, national guards , and walked over the broken windows' glass and shrapnels .. the policemen drives really fast , and shoot while driving ! although there wasn't any car in the street because it was locked . I don't like that annoying noise " WAA WEE WAA WEE " and I kept hearing this voice all the time while I was answering the hard questions ,I was worried about my father who was waiting outside , I gave my papers without re-reading my answers ..
In chemistry exam , As usually I left home early at 6:50 am , to reach school before the exam starts , the way was blocked , but this time FAAAAAAR away from my school , we walked , me and dad alone among the damaged stores and buildings, with police cars everywhere , on burned ground full of windows' glass , shrapnels, what a good way to start your morning?! I reached school thank god , safe , but tired , and low spirited , the exam was delayed half hour because many girls couldn't reach school , then the headmistress said we won't wait for them ..
Some girls couldn't reach school , and many reached school at 10 am (the exam ends at 10 am), they were very exhausted, afraid and thirsty , they walked about 2 hours , alone , without adults to guide them , trying to find an open road ..
Can any teen in this world bear our life? Just going to school is a challenge, living each day is hard , specially when you lose the people you love, and feel afraid about the others .
Our friends' had a horrible night yesterday ,when the US soldiers exploded their doors , damaged their house and took their men at 2 am! my mom's friend is a doctor , she talked with the soldiers they said "it is obvious that this was a deceptive notification because we did not find any weapons or any thing suspicious but we have to take the men " .. they took her husband with his two brothers (one of them is a handicapped) , their daughter is my friend.
I can't believe their kids feelings when they saw there house damaged and the soldiers taking their father , and uncles with blindfolded eyes and enfettering hands , just like terrorists while they are peaceful , educated , kind , caring people . I wish they will come back safe ..
the US soldiers took my parents cousin's husband, " deceptive notification " as well , he came back after 9 months !! his son was 2 months old when he was taken from his home , and when he came back he was one year old!
I am worried about my family and relatives .. please pray for us ..
I have many plans for this summer holiday, but all are inside the house , I'll take photos for my handmade work as well.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

School is over ..

Hello friends ..
on Thursday (3/5)we had a small party in our school , it lasted for one hour and half , but we had a great time, a lot of food , music , and dancing! And what made me really glad is that "R" finally didn't wear black nor dark clothes ..
I was really busy with my monthly exams (as usual ) and I didn't get the results I was expecting , but my marks are still not bad.
I am really tired and can't wait till the summer holiday .
My final par is higher than 90% in 11 subjects which mean I won't have to attend the final exams, except for 2 subjects Arabic and chemistry ..
I felt upset because of the Arabic , because it isn't my fault , I have high marks in grammar and literature but the teacher gave me 14 out of 20 in the daily homework which made my mark lower , that was unfair, I always do my homework ,she also gave us low marks in the phrasing ,I took 20 out of 25 !!! , and when I told her , she said" shush , you are not the only one, sit down". 4 girls have 90% only ! , I have to study Arabic and chemistry hard and get high marks ,
Today ( Tuesday 15/5) I had my Arabic oral exam , the written exam will be on 24/5 , and the chemistry exam will be on 26 /5 , wish me luck.
I have plans for my summer holiday, I want to improve my French , I bought two books and a CD. They are very useful, and I'll also teach my mom French , it was her dream to learn another language , I'll have interviews , and a friend of mine asked me to translate stories, I would love to do that , it will be FUN…
I want to make more handmade work , and of course write posts and answer my E-mails . there is a book in Arabic called " Al mustatraf fee kuli fanin mustathraf " it is a great book , I read it once in Baghdad , about 2 years a go ,grandma sent it to my mom , I'll read it again , it is the greatest book I've ever read .
I'll visit my friend "H" whenever I get the chance , I didn't see her since last summer holiday , I miss her a lot , we are not in the same school , she is one year older , she will be really busy preparing for the sixth class, and the home schooling , she is smart , she want to go to the pharmacy collage, there is various professions among her family members , 2 doctors , a dentist , a lawyer ,and two teachers .
Her brother Dr.M, was in Baghdad with his wife , she had a medical exam there, , she is taking the Diploma, her husband had to leave her alone , and come back to Mosul , because their little daughters (2 years old , and 6 months old) didn't stop crying and calling for their parents , anyway , when he reached Mosul ,terrorists start to shoot at his car, he was injured in his shoulder , he didn't tell his parents , , he told his parents that it was late and that he would go to the hospital because he had a shift in the next day.. he went directly to the hospital , his friends there took care of him and sucked the blood from his lungs……
Next morning , he called his parents and told them the truth , and asked them not to tell his wife Dr. B.
After she finished her exam , she came back to Mosul , and knew everything, Dr. M had a surgery , he is doing ok now.
Thank god for his safety, I am really happy for his two little daughters , wife , and family ..
we celebrated my mom's birthday , and my brother's birthday , we had a nice time.. we also went to my relative' Nishan , I had fun.
I get a lot of E-mails asking me about my life in Iraq , and telling me how the media doesn’t show our real lives, I had an interview with Melissa Walker (she is really nice) , in flip magazine , and I started to receive so many E-mails from teenagers specially from USA, who kept asking me questions about my life , friends , clothes !!! they had wrong ideas about the Iraqi teens and I am so happy they changed their opinions ..
One of my interviews was canceled , I had one with a radio , and I will have one with al- jazeear soon, I am really excited .. I love interviews..
Sunshine .
Now , your questions time
I got this question from a reader (Mary) asking me about my faith .
How do you feel about the US presence ?
people ask me that question a lot ..
well , scared , worried, confused, I don’t trust them , because they killed our eldest uncle as I mentioned before , as well as many innocents. But there are absolutely good soldiers like those I met in the airport ,but in the first year of the invasion , I used to feel safe when they were around , but now , I try to be as far as possible . my feelings changed , because they are not the same soldiers who freed us .
I don't know what to say , once my father's cousin celebrated his birthday with them, the US soldiers spent few months in his dad's building (that was in the first few months of the invasion). My friend's brother made friendship with some soldiers, he used to bring them Iraqi dishes (they loved Dolma and Biryani ). We see each other in the markets , they used to salute us , but now , we drive as hurry as we can if we see them coming , we try to avoid them , because if a mine exploded they shoot randomly .. we don’t feel safe, neither them because of the terrorists who ruin our lives ..

I am curious to know more about your faith - the holidays you observe and what they mean. and the traditions you have around marriage. I don't know any Muslims and I feel it’s important to understand other religions in order to build respect for other people and to understand the differences and similarities of other faiths

My biggest question for you is about heaven. What is heaven to you? How does a person get there? Do you believe these good deeds earn your way into heaven? Is there a book that you would recommend to give us a true understanding of the basics of your faith?

Well , we celebrate 4 feasts , one last for 3 days it comes after the fasting month "Ramadan" , the other feast when people go to Mecca and it last for 4 days , our prophet's birthday ,as well as the Islamic new year (the memory when our prophet left Mecca to Al -madeena ).
About heaven, people go there if they do the right things , like if they don't lie , don't cheat , don't kill , don't humbug, love each other , etc .
And yes, I believe these good deeds earn the way into heaven, I would recommend the holy Quran , if you want to know more about Islam , it is like the bible , because they are from the same god.
About marriages I wrote a post about that .
Many people ask me if we have arranged marriages , NOOOOOOOOOO we don’t have arranged marriages ,it breaks my hear what people in the west think like that about us. I wrote a post about the weddings in Iraq few months ago.

For more questions E-mail me on