Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Friday, July 24, 2009

One country with two flags and many contradictions..

When war began in 2003, I remember a speech on TV. Promises to be impressed within 6 months, as a kid at that time, the first thing I thought about was "Disney land", bright future, supermarkets, and big playing yards and similar things, I had many dreams and ambitious of a developed country, I believed in politicians as kind people, I believed we'll be the 51st state, and such lies!!
Now after 6 years of living in a war zone, I didn't see any good thing happening in my life,.. it breaks my heart to see the good people getting killed or leaving the country and the bad ones taking over the control stealing and doing horrible things that makes the Iraqis reputation worse, it kills me to hear the politicians lying and mentioning how many millions they spent so far "rebuilding" , they lie publicly and don't feel ashamed ..
The huge changes in my life since war are horrible, it makes me sad to see the Iraqi cities destroyed and it's people are living in horrifying situation, the politicians tempt poor ,uneducated people by giving them food and blankets. They encouraged people to perpetrate some rituals like weeping in "religious occasions" in order to distribute backwardness, to camouflage them , make them busy and not pay any attention to the country robbing.. the people in the world don't understand that those people don't represent the Iraqis, and think we are responsible in somehow, but the truth is, we are powerless, no matter how we try to change the situation we can't make a phenomenal change..
Anyway, Iraq is in a tremendous chaos , destroyed, but not in the northern part in Iraq, is developing, I feel happy whenever I see Kurdistan al Iraq (the northern part on my country), but in the same time my heart ache because I didn't see the same thing happening in the rest of Iraqi cities. all the good things happened in the Kurdish cities, and all we got is fear, death, hunger and blood , war took place everywhere except Kurdistan, we hope and pray all the cities will be developed the same..
Health issues :
The hospitals in Iraq witness lack in electricity, medicines, and staff, as the doctors were threatened and went to Kurdistan, or left Iraq ..
The patients lay on the dirty floors, even those who are dying, in our hospitals kids who need operation lay on the floor waiting for their turn, you'd see long queue of kids, sick, thin, and poor ..
The hospitals are so dirty and full of insects, many sick people can't find a bed and lay on the floor, even those who just had operations and need comfortable positions, there's no good staff , and lack of every necessary thing, there's no respect for humans..
While in the north of Iraq (Kurdistan), most of our good Drs. Had to work there, the hospitals are so clean, have great equipments, and electricity the whole time, the patients are treated well and have a good care.
People believe that The Drs. Who were threatened, were threatened by Kurds " either you work in our hospitals and we'll provide you with money and good life, or you'll get killed " many refused to be forced to live in Kurdistan in this way, even if they'll get high salaries and left Iraq .. we lost many good Drs.
Our students suffer a lot, in winter we freeze, and in summer we can't tolerate the high temperature without electricity.. without air conditions and heaters, without even a light . adding to that, the crazy situation, the killing and threatening, it is so hard to concentrate while there are so many things going on around us !
Don't forget the closed roads and bridges, sometimes we have to walk for long distance. The educational staff is not good at all, the teachers are out of temper (most of them), and sometimes explain in a wrong way, and we (the students) correct for them. We have no computers, laboratories, good desks, we have no electricity at school, no heaters or fans, no water in WC !! everything is horrible and make it even more harder to concentrate . the windows in our classes broke during many explosions, so sometimes in winter the rain wet us and our copybooks!, and when there's sandstorm students inhale the sand.the same thing in collages, our professors are not good, the good ones left to work in Kurdistan ..
My relative is a professor. He got an opportunity to work in Kurdistan but he refused, after couple of days he got a threaten to leave his city!! Everyone knows those threats are on purpose, so our good professors and doctors leave to Kurdistan .. everyone knows that ..
In the 6th grade, our students most get about 95% par to go to medicine collage, and our curriculum and questions are really hard, and you know through my writing how much did I study in order to get high par ..

While in Kurdistan, the staff is good, they have electricity, security which is the most important thing. They don't have to worry how much they'll have to walk in order to reach school, and don't even think if they'll miss school because of a curfew..
Everything is going smoothly for people in Kurdistan. My friend is Kurdish and lives in Kurdistan, she said " you are living in hell, thank god we don't live like you guys otherwise we would leave our schools !
The students need only 86% par to join the medicine collage, their curricula easier than ours, specially Arabic and religion curricula they are sooooo easy
The Kurdish students can study in our collages, while Arabs can't study in their collages (every year only 2 students can join their universities).

the people who graduate from medicine, dentistry and pharmacy have to serve for two years in other cities far away from their cities, and if they take the certification or MSc. they have to LIVE in other cities fore ever, this is the new system , but Kurdistan have different set of laws..
Our kids and youth feel bored, there aren't any safe place they can express themselves in .. there are only few play yards with simple toys in few neighborhoods. There aren’t any entertainment cities (the one we have doesn't work, no one look after the toys or fix the old ones), there's only a swimming pool (which I don't find clean, it's for boys) , we don't have malls like Kurdistan, and the amusing places we have are few. And kids spend their time playing in streets or watching TV.
Someone must look after those young women and young men, they are the people who'll re-build Iraq, someone must guide them and provide the city with youth centers..
In Kurdistan, there are fabulous restaurants, play yards, children cities, wonderful malls and swimming pools, stadiums, and gorgeous gardens ..

(kurdistan's pics)
(Iraq's pics)
At least 25% of the Iraqis are under the poverty line, can you imagine that?? in the richest country in the whole world.
In Muthana city the people who are under the poverty line form 49%, in babil they form 41%, in salah al Deen the ratio reaches 40%.. while in Dhook it is only 9%, and in both of Arbil and Sulaymaniyah it is 3% (the source is middle east journal) ..
I noticed the huge difference between our financial state and theirs, when I visited Kurdistan the majority of cars models were2009 and 2008 !! so expensive. And the prices there are also high, which means their salaries are much higher than the salaries here..
Iraq has 18 governorates, as a united county we must have one constitution, one flag, one government, and the same loyalty, for Iraq .. but the northern part of my country have it is own president and government, different rules and different constitution, and different flag !
The Iraqi citizens (Kurds and Arabs) love each other, and both of us are unhappy and not satisfied for what's happening ,I am sure they sympathize with us and want us to live peacefully and happily like them . I have lots of Kurdish friends, some of my relatives married to Kurdish women/men, I love their culture a lot, and find them very simple people.. I am frustrated from the GOVERNMENT which is trying to separate us by making such huge differences between our life and theirs.
But you know what? They won't succeed, because the Iraqi citizens will always remain united, we feel glad to see the Kurdish citizen the way they are right now, we'll be even more happy to see them better, and wish one day Iraq in general will be free, developed and nice ..

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Sunshine, the collegiate girl...

Finally I finished the exams, on Monday at 10:45 I finished the last examination which was French, I can't describe my happiness in words, the high school is over, and I can rest now, no more studying at late time, no more private lectures , wow, I didn't have a break for long time.
This year the questions were unexpectedly hard in general, but I did well ..
The first exam was religion, personally I found the exam easy, because I studied really well, then we had Arabic exam, the questions were just fine, I didn't find them too hard nor easy, then we had English exam which was so easy and I did great.
I did ok in biology exam, although the questions were difficult and many students postponed the exam..
The fourth exam was mathematics, when I got the questions paper I was expecting someone to come and say it is joke or there is a mistake, they were unbelievable, we kept looking at the questions feeling confused, at about 11 am , the classroom was almost empty, students left without answering a question, they postponed it, students started to cry, our future depends on the marks we'll get.
the curriculum has hundreds of questions, why did they bring such huge numbers (in millions) and hard questions? We are not even allowed to use the calculator.. It is silly, just like they were telling us "no matter what you do , you will not answer them" and what makes me really mad is one of the questions was actually wrong..
My marks in mathematics range between 100 and 97 , my teacher called me the night before exam he said "I have such a high confidence that you'll take 100% easily, you're one of the smartest students I've taught , so I just want to make sure you are relaxed and have a high spirit" , but a voice in my heart kept saying that the questions will shock the students and teachers..
Many of My friends postponed the exam, others, like myself, decided to answer them no matter what.. I didn't give up and leave the exam, but I did badly….At that day, I lost control of my feelings, and started to cry with sorrow, why? Because the questions were so difficult and only few didn't postpone it ? .. I remembered the times I used to walk for so long in order to reach the lecture under the burning summer sun at 2 pm, and even though I used to take full marks and impress the teacher with intelligent questions, he trusted in me and my family believed in me, I answered AT LEAST 200 questions in every chapter during the memorizing period (we have 6 chapters so can you imagine how many questions did I answered?!!! And how many questions did I answer during the whole year?) and even though I didn't do as well as I expected. what also made me cry is why did these teachers put those questions? didn’t' they have mercy, and aren't they aware of how much effort we had to make in such horrible situation, what kind of Iraqis are they?..
When the exam was over I saw many parents waiting in the yard, they heard about the questions and came to school to support their daughters, my family kept receiving phone calls from relatives and friends asking about me, I felt comfortable to know that I wasn't alone, and I actually did better than many ! Few days later the minister was on TV. In an interview about the hard questions he said
"that's right we brought such hard questions on purpose, there are too many doctors in Iraq and we need other professionals " what an excuse !
on chemistry the questions weren't easy, but much better than the mathematics, at least we could figure out how to answer them after long thinking..
on physics I did great and I expect a full mark .. and on French I did ok, although the question were hard..
the only thing that bothers me, is the students who belong to a certain cast or certain militias know the questions in advance, and there are partialities in marking the papers.. I hope this year all the students will be treated equally , because we are all Iraqis.. and the other thing that may surprise you, is you can buy the question, it costs 640 $ for every subject, unfortunately some students buy them, but as for me and my friends, and the good people, we prefer to succeed depending on our own selves without cheating..
every day I used to leave the house 2 hours before the exam starts to make sure I can arrive in time, our friend's relatives were generous and allowed me to wait till the exam starts in their house, I spent such a nice time and we became friends .. I was really relaxed with high spirit before the exams.
so , now I won't think about school IT IS OVER FOREVER.

My plans for the holiday :
On the day I finished the exams, we went to celebrate in a casino, and we had a great time .. my sister and brother played and had so much fun ..
First of all, I'll start working on my book again, my agency waited me long enough till I finished my exams, and I'll post more posts I need to think about new things to write about , maybe you could suggest something?!
I also want to have a new look, something suits a collage girl.. play sport and lose few pounds, so I'll start a diet.. and I want to make a lot of handmade work, of course I'll cook a lot ! and do the house work.. I'll learn how to drive, my dad will teach me, and we'll buy a new car model 2009, I suggested "Sunny" I like it hehe.. anyway I can't have a driving license until I become 18 :D
My friends and i want to have a party, after we get our marks, and we'll also go to Baghdad after my grandparents come from Dubai (to visit my aunt Rose).
My grandparents invited me to spend the whole holiday in their house, but I don't think I can, I'll miss my mom so much, beside she'll feel alone without me, so I think I'll spend couple of weeks only.
I also want to chat with my friends, I miss them a lot, and answer my dear readers' E-mails ..
And a lot more !!!
Sunshine, the collegiate girl..
(I have tons of e-mails to answer, so please If I forgot to answer one of your e-mails re-email me on or livesstrong92@gmai.coml and I'll answer asap)