Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Friday, November 28, 2008

Alive with dead spirit..

Dear friends .. It has been unbelievably hard week, I was about to loose control of my study and mind ! .. Last weekend, I was planning to write a shared post with Baghdad dentist, we were chatting at noon, and a dreadful explosion happened, it was the loudest one I've ever heard, I put the laptop a side and ran to my sister who was creaming "something hit my head" she was actually under the curtain I carried her she was unable to stand and crying, I started to cry then both of us fall and I carried her again and reached the corridor almost crawling! suddenly she fainted I got panicked, I sat on the floor and started to examine her head and neck to see if she fainted because of an injury, my dad was taking a shower at that time, and my neighbor was in our house , dad kicked the door several times till the door was opened (because of the blast dad couldn't open the door easily), he came up running and yelling " are you ok? " We were unable to go to the kitchen to bring her water because of the heavy shooting and random bullets, grandma brought water from the nearby bathroom, showered her on her face and finally my sister woke up I kept hugging her, I was so afraid, but she's well expect small scratches on her arm caused by the glass.. My neighbor left our home quickly while the bullets were falling everywhere likes rain, because her old mom was home alone. We spend the first hour looking at our house and possessions feeling strongly thankful for being alive, and extremely in pain to see the house we love damaged like that, we kept thanking god for saving us, when I started to walk in the house and see what has happened, I stated to shake, I was thinking if we were in other places of the house, we would be injured now, or even not alive, but then I started to think reasonably and said "what hits me wasn't suppose to miss me, and what misses me wasn't suppose to hit me", I have faith in god, and I know he is watching and saving us, that's why I feel positive even in the hardest times, and I know everyone will face his/her destiny no matter what, but even though I sometimes almost loose hope and my optimizing spirit .. Anyway, we started to clean and fix the house, at 11 pm I was unable to stand, we all slept in one room, freezing, afraid, and upset of course, but feeling grateful for being alive.. In the next day I woke up early to participate in fixing the house, also my relatives came to help, I had two lectures couldn't postponed them because we didn't have mobile phone services at all, my teacher tried to teach me, but I wasn't concentrating well, I was so tired beside the hammer and drill sounds, it was so hard to hear each other, I reached a point that I was going to cry, what should I do? I am doing my best to concentrate and study well, but the hard circumstances I face makes it so hard if not impossible to do so.. When the lecture was over, and the teacher was leaving, I tried to open the door for her but if was locked, I tried several times, then started to kick it, but it didn't work !! both of my teacher and I started to kick it but the blast caused a huge warp!! My mom went from the other side pushed it and it was finally opened!! Although my mom asked me not to help them and study but I couldn't, first there was so much noise, and secondly I wasn't in a good mood to study well!! Many relatives visited us, they couldn't believe that we are safe !! At noon my other teacher arrived I opened the door carrying a broom! .. at that night I couldn't sleep, I suffered from insomnia, and I had a lecture at 8 am ! But I actually did well!!! On Sunday I went to school without studying anything although I had two exams, and tons of homework (I didn't do well), but I took the Monday off , I had to postponed two exams , and stayed home to do my past days homework... We spent 5 days fixing the house, and then the terrorists informed the neighbors not to fix the houses as there'll be another explosion, I felt so mad, what drove my crazy was to know the terrorist who caused the explosion didn’t get killed!! This explosions destroyed many houses, killed 6 people, and injured at least 36, some of the neighbors are staying in the emergency room, I hope they'll recover.. I'll leave you with the pictures now:

the windows' glass ruined our new curtains

my sister kept crying when her favorite toy was broken !

the house was in such a messI pray we'll have a peaceful life, and free country, I also hope that the terrorists won't cause another explosion…

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Over the barbwires..

Hello friends, I didn't write for awhile I have been so busy with school..
School is fine, I am studying well, my marks are not as high as I expected, but they are good, the teachers' policy in my school is to give us low marks to make us study more and take high marks in the ministerial examinations which will be next June.. I think my only problem in school is physics, our teacher in school is not good.. and the private teacher gives us so much information in the lecture we asked him to slow down but he refuse to do so, he used to explain so well, but after he got his money in advance, he changed, I'll also study on my own and pray I will get high marks .
The situation is still not good at all, we keep hearing explosions and shooting the whole time, beside threats and murders ..
Last week, I was in my way to school, the street was terribly crowded, the driver switched the car off and waited , after about 40 minutes or so, a man said the street is closed. hardly we could find a way out and we started to search for an opened sub-street, but we couldn't ! the driver taught me which streets to walk in till we reach the school (as I am the eldest one), the younger girls and I started to walk, we passed over barbed wires !!, while we were talking suddenly a soldier turned with his gun-machine, there were only the soldiers, and us ! we stopped, I didn't know what to say because I wasn't sure if the soldier was Iraqi or American then another soldier allowed us to walk, my heart was beating fast ! because the streets were empty, there were armed soldiers, and we were only 4 teenager girls ! and the other reason that concerned me is I felt that I am responsible for the other younger girls, I was catching their arms lightly!.
We reached school exhausted, many students couldn't attend school, we didn't know what's best to do, stay in school or go home! in the break time, my friend and I were talking and suddenly a loud explosion happened the windows were hastily opened, followed by heavy shooting, my class mates and other students ran to the classroom, we didn't know what to do, if we stay inside the class another explosion may happen and the windows glass may harm us, If we go out bullets would hit us too, because they were falling in the school yard . we gathered behind the walls, my friend said " I need to sit, I can't stand" she sat on the floor!! Her legs failed her..
The students got panicked, they were running everywhere, the teachers did their best to control the situation but it was hard to calm down about 1000 panicked girls !!! at that day shooting also happened near another school the bullets killed a student and injured another..
You don't know who'll be the next victim, it is so scary to live each day wondering if you and your family will be ok, it tires me, sometimes I can't control myself and start to cry and cry because I can't ensure my families safety, I don't worry about myself as much as I do about my family, I pray for them at day and night.. whenever I see my orphan friends I pray for god to save my parents and family members.. I want nothing from this world but seeing my country safe ..
last week, I met a girl from another school and she told me that the US soldiers visited their school, and talked with them.. she said " when the soldier asked us how we are doing and if we need anything, first we didn't say a word we only exchanged looks, then a girl stood up (she had a bad day) and said in Arabic that she wishes if they leave, the translator refused to translate, but she repeated her sentence in English, we decided to talk ourselves in English too, a girl stood up and said " yes we want one thing, we want you to leave our country" the soldier didn't reply anything, he was shocked, then another girl said "we want electricity to be able to study, we didn't have electricity for two week" and my friend M said "we don't want you to make curfews and close the roads, we want to be able to come to school everyday and don't miss classes" another girl interrupted her and said " even if you'll make curfew at least allow us to go out of our neighborhoods walking and don't shoot towards us " "
I admire their courage, just think how hard situation it was, when teenager girls stood and faced armed soldiers, they were definitely feeling worry, pain, and scared, but in the same time they needed to express themselves and talk .. The Iraqis girls faced very hard situation but even though everyday they pray for a better tomorrow, and smile, they have faith, bravery, and a great tolerance..