Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back to you, with few lines...

Hello friends, it has been such long time since I wrote my last post (or used internet), I am so busy with studying , I didn't check my inbox for a month, I postponed the interviews , and postponed working on my book until I finish the sixth class my exams will start on 20/6 and last for two weeks, the last exam will be on the sixth of July.
So, I am studying well, I finished mathematics, English, chemistry and French..
I have to say, I felt tired in the last three weeks more than anytime during the whole year,
I wake up feeling exhausted and bored, everyday is like the day before, I wake up at 6 am, start studying at 7 am, I have 30 minutes break at 11 am (sometimes I don't), and then I study till 12 after noon, take a short nap, have lunch and study again from 3 pm till 7 pm, then one hour break and study till bed time, so I spend about 11-12 hours a day studying.
during studying chemistry in another teachers' explanation booklets, I found that my teacher whom my parents pay lot of money to give me private lectures , skipped some subjects, I needed 3 days more than the scheduled time to finish them, when my teacher came I asked her about those subjects she replied " oh yea, I didn't explain them, they are hard and annoying it will be better to leave them, they are not important at all" then she turned to my mom and said " your daughter bother herself with hard subjects which never come in the ministerial exams, instead of studying the important things" , for two hours I kept asking her questions about different things and she couldn't answer any of them, I was shocked to know she could ONLY teach the subjects and questions in her explanation booklet, she memorize them only! But what about the other subjects in the curricula?!!
I perfectly understood the subjects she taught me and could answer every question she asks , but I found out that there are other subjects that I never heard of !!.. At the end of the lecture I told her (while my grandma and mom were listening) that all of those questions were from the ministerial exams for the past years, and those two subjects that she skipped (and the teacher in school also didn't know to explain them) are so important ,every year such questions related to those subjects (about heat and pH come ) must have at least 15 marks in the ministerial exams!. and showed her the ministerial questions for the last 20 years , she made me only answer the questions she understood and could explain!! She couldn't say a word, she felt ashamed, I felt heart-broken I trusted her, and thought she'll teach me the whole curriculum, I was feeling so tired, from studying day and night, I didn't have any break when I studied chemistry I was angry and had killing headache at last I started to cry, I told her "you couldn't answer ministerial exams? I must study every possible subject, not only those I like, I can't leave any subject because it is too annoying, it is my future madam"
I kept crying for two hours, I felt betrayed, at the beginning she seemed a good teacher, but after she took her money( one million dinars) she didn't explain the last 2 chapters, and explained the most important subject organic chemistry so badly, I studied the subjects she skipped, alone, and I understand them and the organic chemistry about 90%but I decided to re-study them and if I find any difficulty I'll ask someone else , I hate to leave a subject without understanding it at least 99% ..
At that night I talked with Baghdad dentist and oliver branch , those wonderful dear friends supported me and made me forget my sadness (thank you guys)..
I thank god for lightening my way and making me look in other resources, I feel grateful, it is not too late I can repeat chemistry 3 times till I have confidence and go to the exam without feeling worried.
The situation in Mosul is really bad, 2 weeks ago, 5 mines exploded just behind our house, the neighborhood was full of soldiers, there were many inspections, I had to give 200% of my energy to concentrate, but on Sunday (two weeks ago), I woke up with so much energy to study, at 10 am a mine exploded, my sister was studying in the garden she was panicked, and ran to the living room, we stayed together studying, 30 minutes later another mine exploded, I told her that I think there'll be more mines to explode( I felt so !) my sister looked at me and said "I'll do exactly like you when you can't concentrate, I will study in the bathroom" , well I do that a lot, bathroom is safe it has one small window,, not too hot nor cold, and it has more light than other rooms!! As the bathroom was taken I sat on the floor behind the library, and "tried" to study ..
in 3 hours, 4 mines exploded, whenever a mine explode, I have to check all the windows and replace the wood laths .every time I started to study that day something interrupted me, shooting or explosion, It was a bad day, I couldn't finish all the subjects I was supposed to finish, and at noon I couldn't tolerate I decided to take a walk outside the neighborhood !
Here is a pic for my new desk, I had to bring another bigger table, and put it near the only window in my room, (we had to replace the others with wood , for safety).. I am giving my extra efforts, and I'll be satisfied with every result I have , because I know I am tolerating a lot, luckily my friends neighborhoods is much safer than mine, they said if they lived in my neighborhood, there is no way they could concentrate.

I wish the shooting and explosions will stop , and It will be a miracle, if we can have electricity more often , I'll feel the luckiest person in the whole world, my eyes hurts me when I stay late at night studying with torch light, I can't study more than two hours with poor light! Sometimes I wonder Am I demanding too much??? !!
On 25th of April, we celebrated my mom's birthday, I made a surprising party for her and invited our relatives, we spent lovely time…

Friday, April 03, 2009

Tous les reves peuvent se realiser rien n'impossible ...

Finally I finished the curricula and I started to re-study and memorize all the subjects two days ago..
I found that studying at home is much better than going to school, passing through dangerous roads and wasting time specially that our teachers don't explain well and sometimes explain in a wrong way!!
I study about 10 hours in these days, I do exercises everyday, listen to music, read a part of "la tahzan" book, and try to make my spirit high.
The first subject that I started to study is mathematics, everyday is scheduled, what time to rest, or exercise, or take a nap, in this way I won't waste a second, and also I will not exhaust myself and be in such a hurray.
On Thursday I went to the medical collage, I have tens of friends there and they kept urging and begging me to make a visit, I had a great time there, I have friends from different stages..
My best friend O and her group took me to the anatomy laboratory, they said I have to face my fear and see a "dead body"!!! the funniest thing is first I didn’t know where they were going to take me, when I entered the laboratory and saw human skeleton I ran out , and they drag me inside !! Anyway after awhile I got used to it..
Then we went to the cafeteria, then the stadium, the guys were playing football and basketball, I saw all the places in the collage, and then I went to another friend to support her while she was presenting her graduation project which was a seminar about malaria, when the seminar was over we celebrated, her group was very nice one, specially the humorous student from Baghdad who kept joking! I am sure they'll be great Drs.
On Tuesday I had two lectures, in the morning I had an Arabic lecture, the lecturer had some notes to tell us, and also taught us the right way to answer the essay, as we have to write one in the examination, last year the students were shocked when they had to write about a political subject!! When the lecture was over, the lecturer brought me a big present, and a very beautiful card, my friends felt so jealous, they said "why you???!!!!!! What about us??!!!" my lecturer respect and admire me a lot, he says that I am his "spiritual daughter", whenever I talk he pay me attention and sometimes we discuss our ideas about a certain book or so, he said he rarely find girls my age like the Arabic literature and the famous old poets, and he also like my writings (the Arabic ones). I feel so happy and blessed to know such a great person..
At noon I went to another teacher, I studied the genetics by myself but I had some questions about the subject, so grandpa took me to his workmate's sister who is a biology teacher..
Honestly, unlike most of the 6th grade student I am excited because "the 70 days of studying" started.. as it is said " the 1000 miles journey starts with a step"
And as my friend Baghdadentist always tell me "tous les reves peuvent se realiser rien n'impossible" I wrote encouraging sentences such as poems and aphorisms and stoke them on the mirror and closet!