Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Friday, June 30, 2006

I could bear it all !

Hello friends, hope you are ok .
It had been very long time since I updated , as you know I had 40 days to study , and about 3 weeks examinations , it was awful , hot weather 46 C. , no electricity , no fuel for the generator, studying in hell would be better !!! .
The 40 days :
I used to wake up at 07:00 , and study till the bed time , in mathematics I had the most horrible days, we didn't study the last chapters in school, there wasn't enough time ( because of the days we couldn't reach school and the blocked roads and the bad situation in general) , those chapters were about geometry , I spent 9 days , studying , thinking & sleeping with math!!!!.
I studied all of the subjects carefully , and made many precises , I did my best , no TV, ( except Dr. Phil when I had time ) , I did not leave the house only very few times.
Night bruxism got worst , I still complain from painful spasm in my tempromandibular joint( I got this term from my mom, hehehehe) , I put the night guard but it seems that it doesn't work with me, the doctor said it's because of stress .
The examinations:
every day , before I go to school , I listen to music ( if we have electricity )or looking for music on the radio , music makes me more relax .
The first day I was really worried , the new driver didn't come early , which made my parents mad , he drives badly & sooooooooooooo speedy , I kept saying "WATCH OUT , THIS CAR , THAT CAR ! " , I arrived school safely, with no accidents!!!.
I saw women (the kind you see in TV.) sitting on the ground, they brought their rugs, children, Cola & food with them to the school! I turned to my friends saying "I think we are in the wrong place, we are in the village"
Then it appears that they were the home-schooling girls with their families, we have a nice garden in our school, so it is a great place to have a picnic, I guess !!!
At 09:00 The ring rang , we went to the classrooms , my desk was near the window , without curtains , my face became like a tomato during the exam , and I could see the sweat fell on the paper , we are not allowed to bring water inside the classrooms , but in Baghdad , they are allowed to bring water , and mobiles, WHY ? !!.
After few minutes the exam started, I finished after 40 minutes!! With the best answers, and waited the driver who came at 11:00!.
The body- guard in my school is very rude man, he made us wait our drivers in the street, under the burning sun, my friend fainted, and most of us felt nausea.
I arrived the house exhausted , I took a shower , had my lunch , and took a nap , then studied the literature ( one of the Arabic books we study in school) , and studied the grammar the days after it .
The second exam :
I went to school very optimistic, but when I took the questions' paper, I had the biggest shock!!!!!!!!!!!
One of the questions was about a poem that we didn't study in school , I felt really upset , I answered all the questions except this one .
Why would some one ask us to write a poem not from the curriculum? In our book there are many many poems, and the questioner didn't find one except this!!! That is ridicules.
The rest of the exams were not bad, I did well.
Everyday when I come home, I chamfer a day; it makes me feel happy and relieved!

On Tuesday, I had an asthma attack. And stayed-up till 1 am, on the respiratory-machine, I woke up in the next day a little bit dizzy, and tired but even though I went to school , and answered well.

Wednesday at noon, I was not capable of breathing, the doctor gave me many many medicaments, that made my hands shaken and my heart beat so fast.
I woke up on Thursday feeling much worst, I used the respiratory-machine all day long, my heart was like the drums , I couldn't study , I couldn't see through the respirator mask , I put some pillows under my arms , but it didn’t work, my mom had to give me hydrocortisone shot .I thought I'll be ok and I asked my mom to take Mariam and Yosif and go for a ride so that I can study well in a quite house. But I was totally wrong!
when they came back ,my face was bluish , mama called her uncle ,he 's a doctor , he suggested to take me to the emergency room .but my parents were worried about the stroll bans.
Anyway, we went to the hospital, we parked the car away from the hospital ( security reasons !!!) And we went to the emergency room walking!! , we waited for a doctor , but no one came !! then my dad brought a nurse who tried to insert the canula in my vein , but he couldn't , he tried many times and now my arm is blue ! mama brought me the oxgenator . I saw the most horrible things, a woman who had a heart attack, her two daughters were running here and there trying to find a doctor for her , the old woman was in pain , and no doctor came !! we see in TV. The doctors are kind, caring, doing their best trying to save people' life .No word can describe what I am feeling now .
There was only one nurse running her and there helping people in the emergency room, he put the canula for me, from the first attempt.
I started feeling better after an hour , the nurse gave me 2 shots , dad saw one of my grandpa's friends , with his sons , he had angina , & his sons carried him to the hospital , they were searching for a doctor too .
The good nurse (god bless him ) ran , and said "we need blood " there were two guys from the national guards who were badly injured , my parents were worried , terrorists may attack the hospital with the existence of the national guards , it happened many times.
Among the most horrible cases I saw, and I will never forget it
A couple of worried parents caring their daughter , she was in my age , they put her in a bed beside mine , the dad was shouting " her heart stopped , she stopped breathing too ".
No , the doctors didn't come running , the nurse did , " we need oxygen here , bring one " he said. There were only two oxygen bottles…
I was looking at her crying mom , I just can't imagine her fears and feelings , I randomly took-off my mask , and gave it to her , after a sec , the nurse said " no , we should put her on the DC . " it was very scary , mama and dad , kept saying " do not look , look at the other side " but I couldn't, the girl returned to life , then a doctor came , "toooooooooooooooooo late mister!"
I kept saying to my mom " please mama , go and help that man " ," look there some one need help", "can you please help that patient too" I was worried about everyone.
I felt a little bit better , my parents and I left the hospital , but my thoughts were still there .
I wished I were able to help , the doctors were so careless , while they should be the most caring . It wasn't the first bad experience with the emergency room , once I was really sick , a doctor we know was working in that hospital, he put the canula in a wrong way , my hand started to swell , and his friend came talking to another doctor –
-" you won't believe what happened to me "
- "what: "
"I gave a 15 years old boy the wrong medicine, I did not think he had a heart problem, I thought he is too young for that".
- "what happened to him?"
- "he died !".
he said it with no sadness .
I came to the house at 10:00 pm, but I needed a doctor at 11:00, and the stroll bans started at 10:00!! A doctor live nearby, checked me out.
My grandpa sent me from Baghdad medication for asthma (it was prescribed previously by my doctor) , but it is a rare and expensive one in Iraq.
Thank god , I became better and I didn't need it ,a relative doctor ,who is a great person care about patients which is something we don't find usually in our hospitals , felt so happy when we told him that we will donate that life saving medicine to the hospital .
The days of my sickness preceded the history and geography exams( together) , I couldn't study , but mama read the whole geography book for me ( thanks mama , I wouldn't answer without your help )
On the next day , I was breathing better, but the medications made me so tired and shaky. But I did very well.
Mama came with me to school and brought with her the respiratory machine ( just in case), at that day the bridges were blocked and we arrived late ,that made us more and more bothered.
on Wednesday I came back from my final exam French , I did well too.
I am expecting a full mark in math , and from 90-100 in the rest of the exams , except physics , and Arabic , I'll get my results in the middle of July , I am a bit nervous , but excited in the same time .
My plans for the holiday:
I'll buy a laptop (inshallah ) I have been saving money for a long time , and I am planning to buy a musical keyboard too , I love playing music , & I am also planning to learn more handmade work , of course writing to you ( whenever we have electricity ) , and answering tens of E-mails , my friend Bill Smith sent me books " Anne of green gables " with the help of my dear friend Madcanuck who sent wonderful music CDs , I'll read them in the holiday , while listening to the music .
Five of my relatives will get marry in the summer holiday, so I'll have lots of fun , and will have a "new look "!! .
Speaking about wedding, I do not think you know the traditions here. I am thinking about writing a post about that.
Excited Sunshine with tomato face.
PS. I apologize I couldn't reply many readers back , I didn't have time , I'll answer your E-mails whenever I have time , promise .

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I am alive but busy !

Hello friends
Oh , 9 days left , then my exams will start , I finished all the subjects , except religion , 10/6 is the big day .
I will have a day off between the exams (to study ).
Religion is the first exam , then Arabic , English , mathematics , biology , chemistry , history and geography (in the same day ) , physics , and French .
I studied well , but I am still very worried , I did my best , but I can't be sure that I will get the highest marks , my mom told me to do my best and do not care about the marks ..
I didn't have time to check my E-mails for 10 days!!!
The house surround isn't very quiet , my brother , sister , & my grandparents' loud voices (they can't hear well unless they shout ) sometimes I just can't concentrate, from ten I can give 7 !.
I will write to you after the exams, about my plans for the holiday (I have many posts ideas), keep waiting and wish me good luck , a safe and open roads , and electricity (the weather is so hot , and the electricity is so bad ) !! I'll need that.
My summer holiday will start on 29/6 .
Btw , I can't believe that I'll be in the high school , I heard that next year we will study Kurdish !! I am excited.