Awesome trip ...

It has been a really wonderful week, we celebrated my mom’s birthday on 25/4 and we had such a great time.
On Wednesday 31/4 we went to the North of Iraq, with many of my mom’s work mates, all of them were either doctors or dentists, about 7 families and 20 HANDSOME GUYS , I had fantastic time, my parents dedicated this trip to me for my success in school ..
At 2:00 pm, on Wednesday the journey that I will never ever forget began, the driver came and we went to al Jamea street where we decided to gather, and at 3 pm the bus came, with 3 singers and two musicians!! we stared to acclaim and sing Iraqi songs, as well as Arabian songs, the two musicians spent an hour and 20 minutes trying to fix the note to start !! we also spent sometime waiting for the US troops to open the road ….
The funniest thing is the musicians got angry, they were old (about 60 years old or so) and they knew only the VERYYYYYY old songs, and we wanted to sing the new Iraqi songs, one of them shouted “ GUYS, either we sing or you” so everyone answered “ WEEEEEEEEEEE” it was really funny.

At 6 pm we reached Dhook, our first stop, in a place called “Dhook dam” .
It was is a really nice place, we stayed there till 10 pm, first we took pics near the waterfall, then we took the kids to the play yard, my brother was so excited, he’d never seen such a nice play yard before.After that Dr. BD, Dr. A, my family and I climbed the mountain, and we took many pics near the lake .. then we ate delicious ice cream, after that the Drs. put some great Iraqi music (I brought the CDs :D ) and started to dance in the street ,the famous Iraqi dances and Dabkas , then a man in a nearby small shop played Kurdish music, the guys didn’t know the right way to dance Kurdish Dabka, so a Kurdish man came, took out his handkerchief, caught a Dr’s hand and started to teach him, then all the guys took each others’ hands and started to try, after 10 minutes they became practiced, and started to dance Kurdish Dabka with the Kurds ..
When that man came, I felt blissful, I was assured that Iraqis are united no matter what others may say, I was acclaiming and taking videos, my mom came and said “ you see, Sunny. The Kurds like us, that’s why they came to teach the Arabs their dance, because we are all Iraqis”.. I nod my head, and was speechless .. and she’s right ..
The guys kept dancing for hours, and everyone was clapping, even strangers stopped by and shared us our good time ..
At 10 pm we left Dhook and went to Serseng, we had dinner there, and spent the night in a small Motel..
In the next day, I woke up at 7 pm, opened the window and for the first time I didn’t see destroyed buildings and destruction, instead of that I saw a great view, blue sky, and mountain .. I had my breakfast while I was enjoying the view..
At 8 pm, my mom and I went out to see the city, so we went to the nearby markets and walked in the streets , I felt so safe, I didn’t see a soldier, nor tank, I didn’t hear an explosion nor shooting, I wasn’t afraid of terrorists , and walked freely with my mom, I didn’t have to worry , I was happy ..
At 9 pm we came back to the motel, and waited for awhile till Dr. BD and his friend came, the were arrested by the Kurdish security men because they took pictures while there was a special celebration for Kurds .. they spent two hours in the investigation (you can read about the details when Dr. BD write a post )..
Then about 10:30 Dr. BD and Dr. A came and we went to Ashawa, a place near Dhook, with big waterfall and beautiful view ..
For the Iraqis, impossible Is nothing, we love picnics and parties a lot, and we have many kinds of dances, each city has a special kind of dance , Iraqis are very good dancers, and we have unbelievable ability to amuse ourselves ..
The Drs. took a generator and climbed the mountain carrying it !!! YES!! whenever two guys feel tired other two Drs. take their role, and the others carried the speakers and laptop..
In Ashawa the first thing we did , was taking pics near the waterfall, and then we put REALLY loud Iraqi and Kurdish music and all the guys started to dance, then other guys who were nearby came and started to dance with our group, they were kurds, and so good dancers..
My brother become very good dancer, he learned fast and had great time, and he kept saying “ I’m so happy, and I like all the Drs.” .
It’s the first I see him enjoying his time and feeling safe to walk away from my mom..
At about 12:30 am, we celebrated a Dentist daughter’s birthday, I bet she’ll never forget this birthday ..
Ashawa is one of my favorite places, the mountain is big and has many stone colors and inclinations, I felt a bit tired so I put my head on the chair to rest and enjoyed the view..
Then in the afternoon, we went to Dhook, first we visited Mazy supermarket, which is awesome, and huge. Then we went to Dream city .
I didn’t go to amusing city since I was 10 or 11 years old, and I’d never seen in my life amusing city more gorgeous than Dram City, it is definitely “Dream” city ..
Everyone had fantastic time, I enjoyed every second, walking freely, hearing loud music, and feeling so safe, there I saw my dear friend Rezan , we didn’t see each other for 3 years, she had to leave Mosul because of the bad situation, It was great to see her, we took many pics, and then we saw another friend Zainab, it was beyond anyone’s imagination ..
Dr. BD and I were walking when he said “ I feel like I am in Baghdad” at that time I was thinking about our old days in Baghdad too…..
We played many games, and I felt like I am the happiest and luckiest person in the whole world.
While I was waiting my turn to play a game, I met a Kurdish woman, she said something I didn’t understand, I know only few Kurdish words, then she started to explain by signs, she understands Arabic but don’t have the ability to create a sentence and speak, we spent half hour trying to communicated by signs and with few words we know . we were able to understand each other hardly .. (she said she liked my clothes a lot ) ..
The funniest game we enjoyed is a game called “Disco” , Dr. F insisted to play it while he stands in the middle, it wasn’t a wise thing to do, because of the fast rotation and vibration, Dr. F’s leg slipped and fell and started to move from one side to the other, thank god he didn’t hurt himself, but when he came out everyone was laughing at him, and joking.. At 1:30 AM we went back to our motel, I didn’t come back home late for more than 5 years!! Because it is not safe in Mosul and we have curfew starts at 10:00 pm everyday ..
We spent our way singing and dancing , and by the time we reached home everyone was exhausted and most of the Drs. slept without changing their clothes, including my family members, but for me, I wore my pajamas and brushed my teeth as well :D..
Next morning I woke up at 7:30 prepared our stuff, I didn’t want to leave this place at all, it is so safe and the nature is beyond description..
At 9:00 pm we went to a place called “Karka” it has a small waterfall, it was the first time I see this place, and it is nice actually but need a lot of care to make it better.
Anyway, my sister and I claimed the mountain with Dr. BD and this time I fell, hehe .. we took many pics and spent wonderful time. .
My problem is the fear of heights, I can’t look down, if I do, I feel dizzy, and close my eyes immediately, but Dr. BD kept encouraging me to get over it..
We left Karka and went to Anishky cave, as soon as we arrived we heard loud music, and all the Drs. started to dance as soon as they entered the cave, it was great ..
Then two Kurdish men started to dance Dabka, I’d never seen this kind of dance before.

Then the Drs. joined them and started to dance like them and went all around the cave dancing this dance. This is the Kurdish folklore dress .. Then we decided to go to Soolaf, to have lunch there ..
I had extraordinary time there, we had lunch in very cute restaurant, the view was unbelievable, we ate delicious Kabab..

I took this pic from the restaurant..

Then we returned to our bus, but before we leave, we played loud music, the Drs. started to dance in the street and another group of tourists joined them, and I had never seen such a great performance before..
Then a man from the new group who joined us said “ Guys, won’t you show the guys Karbala’s Dance?” and they started to dance Karbala’s dance, which is really cute ..

Note : those guys who were dancing, in the pictures i published , are not from our group..

Then all the guys danced on a song called “Hedi” the song says (there isn’t any difference between people, nor Muslims and Jews … etc) everyone was singing this song, acclaiming and dancing.. Then we returned to Mosul, we spent the time in the bus singing as well!!, then the Drs. sang a song and dedicated for my mom, they like her because she take good care of them, and make them feel they’re in their home, then Dr. R (who’s from Basra) sang a song about expatriate , Dr. F’s eyes filled with tears, he didn’t see his family for some time.
Dr. F is very kind person, and he smiles the whole time, beside he’s a great dancer ..
I was actually surprised how the Drs. have such great voices, if they don’t succeed as Drs. they can be great singers hehe, and many play drums perfectly well, they impressed me ..
I met great people in this journey, like Dr. R, I didn’t know anything about Basra and he spent some of his time talking with me about Basra, all the Drs. left good impression , they are funny, like to enjoy there time, very respectful and kind ..
When this group from Karbala came, I was shocked because of what I see in TV. I didn’t know the people in Karbala have such a nice spirit, I am so glad I got the chance to meet people from different Iraqi cities, and know more about the citizens of my beloved country …
Everyone needed that journey, we didn’t have fun for long time, that’s why we spent the whole time singing and celebrating ..
I wish the war will end and all of our days will be peaceful and nice, like the days I had ..
Sunshine..

Sorry, this post was long.. but I wanted to mention most of the details to make you see through my eyes .

Iraqi gorgeous spirit..

On Friday, I woke up at 7:30 and started to study until about 8 pm , I finished my homework and studied for my exams (I had physics, computer, and biology exams), at night I prepared some stuff for Saturday’s picnic, my camera, clothes, and everything I needed, and was sitting in the living room talking with my mom about the picnic, and suddenly heavy shooting with a sound of loud explosion seemed to be like a rocket’s or car bomb’s sound, my family and I quickly went downstairs, and we hide in a safe room till the shooting stopped, I remembered the last time we had picnic an explosion happened and the house was damaged, I was thinking “oh no it is not the time” and I spent the whole time praying we won’t have curfew or anything bad happen ,I really need this picnic..
In the next morning I woke up early, mama and I made pizza and hamburgers, then we got dressed and thank god the road was opened and we went to a place called “the tourism’s village” ..
We took a football, and many sport stuff , and I had fantastic time and played a lot, I can’t move my arm till now!.
I think my favorite part was when the Drs. who are from different cities, like Diala, Ramadi, Hadeetha, and many other places danced Dabka together, and I also liked the football match between the senior Drs with the residents dr.s . and I loved when the Drs. were divided into two groups and had a funny competition called “without speaking” each Dr. would try to explain by signs a name of a play, movie, or aphorism, and also repeat a hard sentence hastily without making a mistake and if anyone made a mistake he/she would say a joke or sing a song, a Dr. from Ramadi couldn’t say a sentence correctly, so he had to sing, everyone was laughing he blushed, then a Dr. said “come on, we’ll sing with you” and he started to sing children’s song says “ Mammy will come soon, mammy will come soon with many toys and stuff….. “ it was so funny..
I met Dr. Baghdadentist , and we played together, of course Dr.f and I scoured more points.. and after lunch many Drs. and I played Frozby (or as some people call it the flying dish) ..
As there were Drs from different cities, you could hear different accents, and even the shape, you’d see a blond person, beside a very dark one! But from the inside everyone had the same Iraqi gorgeous spirit ..
At 4:30 I was completely exhausted, & Dr. Baghdadentist drove us home..
It was a fantastic picnic, and what made me extremely happy, is I met Drs. from different places, and got the chance to be more enlightened about there lives, and traditions.. they were funny, respectful, and have all the manners of men, to see them having a good time together worth everything, and I told my mom I feel proud to see good Iraqis like those Drs. who faced a lot of things, and experienced many hard experiences and still smile and laugh..
As we had a great time, we decided to go in another picnic ..
Sunshine ..

More Diaries..

I had a crazy week, all the teachers want to examine us as many exams as they could, I kept studying the whole time, and I did my best , my marks are ok, I won’t have to attend the final exams for all subjects except physics. in Iraq we don’t have to attend the final exam and study the whole book for every subject if we have 90% and higher as final mark (= A+), it is hard, especially in my school, but I did, in spite of everything, the war , terrorists, explosions, all the hard circumstances, without electricity, nor fuel for heaters, I used to stay up late studying alone while everyone was asleep, catching the torch in one hand and my book in the other, with many blankets over me in order to stay warm, it’s scary to stay in a room alone while there’s shelling and still be able to study..
I continue going to privet Arabic lessons, and I like our teacher, he’s great and praise me a lot (my friends got jealous hehe)..
My friend who lost her mom is doing good, she’s stronger than anyone I’ve ever met, although her sisters don’t study, but she told me “ if I don’t study nothing will change what happened, but I know one thing for sure, it was my mom’s will for us to study hard, she used to ask us to do our best and study, and I’ll do it for her”
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On Thursday, Rita visited me and read all of your comments and E-mails, we talked for awhile, but she had to go back quickly, she was busy, they were moving to another house, far away.
Grandpa and I went with her, as it is not safe in Iraq to walk alone, we were walking , laughing because I said a joke, and she was saying to me “shush don’t laugh loud” Rita is really shy person.
As soon as we reached the end of our street, a mine exploded and the US soldiers started to shoot, I didn’t think about anything but running away, Rita caught me from my arm and asked me to calm down, we reached her house, with my knees shaking, her mom, dad, sister’s husband, and their friend were packing their stuff, Rita went to the garden, she insist to bring me a rose, I looked at the rooms through the window, I was trying not to be emotional and cry, the house was empty nothing but the white walls, in one day this house was full of life, this family witnessed many good days there, such as their kids birthday, Raffi’s graduation, Nora’s graduation (their other daughter), Nora’s wedding, all the festivals, the good and bad days, hard and pleasant times,all their memories for over than 30 years.
once in the Armenians’ Eid, my family and many neighbors visited them, I remember perfectly well that day, every single conversation, every joke, there were people from different religions, different castes, and different cities, but you know what, I didn’t feel different, we were talking about the same things, laughing at the same things, it is normal because we are Iraqis, Raffi was sitting in front of me, talking with his friend in low shy voice, like always.. Rita pointed at the door and said “you see this door sunny” ( it leads to the other guest room) , she continued “ we used to open it in Eid, because many many friends used to visit us and there wouldn’t be enough space for all of us, so we used to sit in two rooms, teenagers in one room and adults in the other, and at the middle of the night, everyone stands up, we catch each others’ hands and dance Dabka, what amazing days we had before the war, now we can’t have guests till late time, beside many Armenians left Mosul”
I remember her say, and was imagining the living room full of people dancing and enjoying their time, now they’ll leave the house, leaving their memories behind, but their son’s memory will be carried in our hearts forever..
It is so hard to leave the house you’ve been living in for your whole life, When the situation was really bad about 4 years ago we had to leave our house, I started to cry while I was packing my clothes, I can’t imagine myself living in any other house, surrounded with other neighbors, Rita’s dad came to say hello, he hugged me and said “we’ll miss you the most, it is so hard to leave the neighborhood, the neighbors and house, but what we can do” he looked really sad and was smoking ! he has heart problem and I am so worried about him..
last Wednesday, I was in my way home, after a tiring day at school ( an English professor attended class with us, after the class finished he examined us to see how good we are, he liked me a lot, he kept asking questions and I kept replying without any mistake, he was impressed, the teacher also said I was excellent) anyway in my way home, the driver was driving carefully and we stopped in a checkpoint, an Iraqi vehicle belongs to the National guard was driving really fast and it stopped suddenly in the middle of the bridge, the soldiers started to run , they looking down from the bridge, and ran back shouting something, I didn’t understand their accent, and they yelled at the driver and asked him to go back, but it was impossible there were tens of cars behind, another vehicle stopped and the soldiers seemed to be ready for any attack, they were catching their weapons tightly,, I was like in the middle to Indian action movie, a group of men came wearing worn out clothes, they gave a paper to the national guard and said “we are with them” he looked down from the bridge and said “Yes, they are one of us”
I didn’t understand any thing, they were one of whom? What happened? Who were those men? What was going on? I want to know!!!
I thought there was a car bomb, or it was an ambush , or may be bunch of terrorists were going to attack the soldiers, I was happy to remember a prayer, and I kept repeating it over and over again, later I found out I was saying the wrong one I was saying “Forgive” instead of “protect” ..
A national guard came toward our car and said to the driver “if you don’t want to die GO BACK NOW , DO YOU WANT TO DIE” the question was directed to the driver but I replied quickly “no he don’t” , the other girls who were in the car looked very pale, and the youngest one kept asking me what’s going on, and what will happen ..
We went to another bridge and I arrived my house could barely walk, I was terrified, I really thought I could be just like one of the numbers we hear in Tv.
27/4 will be the last day I attend school in, but I won’t have a holiday I’ll have to study physics, math, and chemistry beside Arabic preparing for the sixth grade ..
On Saturday, my mom, Mariam, Yosif and I will go to a picnic with my mom’s work mates and friends, and I’ll meet Baghdadentist, he is such a great friend and supporter, as well as a very talented writer, I am really excited, there won’t be anyone in my age ! but I can get along well with the new graduated Drs. and everyone ..
Sunshine

I started to attend private lessons...

I started to attend private lessons, preparing for the sixth class, which will define my future-career, on Wednesday my friends and I decided to go to the teacher's house directly after school, it is impossible to go home to have lunch, change our clothes and come back, the road is not safe at all and our houses are really far.
The driver parked two streets away, as the whole place around my school was crowded, I was walking with my friends, and tanks were in the street, I was really close to the tank, I looked at it as I passed, I was thinking " I am so close to the tank", it was less than 1 meter away, my heart was beating fast because it's the first time I go alone to a teacher's house, and I was thinking someone may attack the tank, anyway, as I was having my lunch in the car, I started to think silently the whole way, from this day my long journey began, I'll do my best, and get a high par, I hope nothing bad will happen, I need to concentrate and forget about my whole week, I should format my brain (as Baghdadentist say), I should also relax, which is like mission impossible for me, but I have to do my best ..
We looked for the teacher's house, 15 minutes before the exact time, I hate to reach late, the teacher was really nice, he can't see clearly, we introduced our selves, he said to me, " I know you, from your voice, you're the girl who called me and arranged the group and date, yes! I remember you" and he was impressed by the group, he said " you are my favorite group, very polite, elegant, and intelligent " .. after the class ended the driver called us and said that the bridge is blocked, so we stayed in the teacher's house for an hour waiting, we were so embarrassed, but we did part of our homework there..
Wednesday was a great day for me, my English teacher brought A movie, and the whole class went to the computers' classroom, and we saw the movie on the wall (Data show), with pop corns, like a real cinema, although the movie was very miserable but we kept laughing!! I don't know why?! But we were excited a lot, we saw Oliver Twist, we have been reading this novel since the Academic year started, every 2 weeks we read a chapter, we had great time, non of us had ever been into Cinema, because of the bad situations .. I needed to have a good day after what happened this week..
It was really hard week, I had many asthma attacks, the threat became more serious, my dad refuses to stay in a safe place or leave Mosul for awhile till the situation gets better, and my friend M lost her mom, in a car bomb, it was a tragedy, when I heard about her mother's death, I kept crying the whole time, and fell ill for two days, unable to even stand up, I lost 6 pounds in those 2 weeks, I don't have any desire to eat..
M is really intelligent girl, she is a retiring girl ,she trust only few people, and I am glad to be one of them, her dad had been missing for 5 years, and her mom who was a teacher took care of M and her 2 sisters (age 18, and 13), now M was left without her parents, she's only 16, what guilt she had done to live without a mother and Father, how can she continue her life without her mother? Her supporter? The shoulder she cry on? The person who teach her, take care of her, guide her, advice her, oh my god, one day her mother was there, and the other day she died because of a freak person who put a car bomb in a neighborhood? How would M feel when she see her parents bedroom without her parents? It is really hard, harder than anyone's imagination..
M couldn't attend school for several days, of course, but on Sunday she came to the class, and sat silently in her desk, we were nodding our heads signing to each other , and encouraging each other to go and talk to her, we all gathered around her desk, she was crying and the girls were calming her down, I only said " we are here for you" and started to cry, my friend took me a side, because I wasn't helping, I could hold my tears when Rita lost her brother, and when R lost her dad, and in many events, but I can't hold my tears when I see M crying, my mom is everything in my life, I can't imagine my life 5 minutes away from her, this event made me really loose my mind, I had continuous headache, I can't sleep nor study well, because I can't live normally, I check my mom every second when she's away, in our relatives' house or in her work, I am freaking out, the terrorists want to kill my dad, and danger is everywhere around me, my mom , and everyone.. how can I make hard efforts to study if I feel powerless, I feel sleepy the whole time, but can't sleep well, and yes of course my night bruxisin is getting worse, and I have spasm in my legs, hands, neck, and everywhere, because of my stress which I can't control..
I admire M's courage, she's attending school everyday, doing her homework, attending exams and taking 100%, I'd say she's a hero because she didn't kill herself after her mom's death, I can't find a word to describe her courage, her determination, I don't know how can she handle everything.. I was there for R, Rita and their families, and I'll be there for M and help her in every possible way, all the girls in my class are with her, in the break-time, the girls and I explain to her the lessons she missed..
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Today Rita came to my house, they'll move to another neighborhood, when her dad visited us, he was crying and said "I can't stay in this house anymore, every corner reminds me of Raffi "
I'll miss her, she's my best friend, neighbor, and hero, but I'll be happy when I see her and her family doing well, she read all of your comments, and her eyes filled with tears while she was reading your encouraging words, so on her behalf I thank you all for being supporters ..
She's doing well, attending collage and studying hard, she's really strong, stronger than I’m, she's dealing with her loss, today we heard a song, she laughed and told me that Raffi loved this song a lot, she also started to laugh with tears in her eyes and said " we used to fight when it comes to TV. we used to watch Romantic movies on Thursday nights, and he used to throw pillows on me while we watch TV".
It is hard to lose someone means the world for you, and it's hard when you fear about this person 24/7…
Please, pray for my parents' safety, my family, and all of the Iraqi's safety, the situation is getting worse, everyday when I go to bed, I wonder how will my next day be, I pray for god to keep everyone safe ..
Sunshine..

A message from Iraq ...

Loosing a brother Is really hard, we asked Rita to write her story to be published in our blogs, and I told her I’ll contact the journalists I know to publish her story, her voice should be heard, and Raffi’s memory should be remembered always ..
Raffi, you was and will always be a model for me, and many others, I want you to know, you’ll always be in our hearts, and people will remember you as the kindest person ever, your smile, your behavior, and everything in your personality is unique, I feel honored to type what Rita wrote about you, I feel sorry because we will miss you, but in the same time I know you are in heaven, may your soul rest in peace, …
Now, I leave you with what she wrote :-

"I am an university student in the collage of pharmacy, a daughter of a small and highly educated family, the youngest sister of one single brother and a kind married sister, we live in a city named “ Mosul” in Iraq, in a simple house among kind neighbors ..
Being the youngest, my family deal with me in a special manner, and I love them in an incredible manner, specially my brother, we were more than sister and brother, we were close friends, each of us was ready to sacrifice his soul for the other, he was so kind guy, funny, lovely, so faithful, fair, ambitious, had many aspirations also he didn’t hurt anyone even by a word.
He was a graduate of computer science collage, of Baghdad university, he changed his job many times due to security circumstances, and he was unable to find a job suitable with his experiences, at last he was working in a shop of so kind people, he loved and respected them a lot, his work place was dangerous but he had to work, to live and arrange his future.
As all Iraqis, he was always worry about the worsening situation which was life threatening and danger exists everywhere.
On 18/3/2008, I woke up early to go to collage, unlike everyday, I left home without seeing and joking with him, because I was in a hurry.. during his job that day, a car-bomb exploded in his work place area and a metallic splint penetrated his clear and kind heart directly… by this way, I simply lost my only brother who was everything in my life, and till this moment I don’t know why or what was his guilt to die in this young age !
When I knew about his death, I didn’t believe, until I saw him in the woody tomb, he was so white, sleeping as angel, also was smiling to me … we kissed him for the last time, and knew he went to heaven, because he was faithful, fair, kind person, also he died as a martyr ..
My parents became so weak, simply because they lost oldest and only son who was to held the family name, was to make his own family, was helping my daddy in this life, and was everything for all of us.
Sure I was sad too, and I found myself in a hard stance, I didn’t know what to do!! Although all of our neighbors, and friends helped us but it was hard for us . I cried till my tears finished, I became so sorry on all members of my family too, I was very worry about their health, then I started to think logically and found that I am lucky to have a brother in heaven, flying with angels, near our GOD as all innocents people in this world, also I am lucky to be surrounded by true friends, postgraduates, and undergraduates, kind Dr.s who teach me, and helpful people .. also I found that I’ve to be strong to be able to carry my family’s responsibilities, encourage them and fill his place .. not to lose them anymore, I know it is too much for a twenty one years old female, but I’ve no choice, I love my brother a lot, so I am ready to bear anything for him, specially when I know he is in a place where only rare people can join.
Since I love him a lot, I decided to write these words as a message to him, telling him that I always wished the best for him and I am ready to do anything I can to tell the world about a person who was a diamond for us and is a candle who will keep to light up my life for ever, giving me hope for future, to make my dreams true, for myself, my family, and for my country , also his souvenirs will live with me every moment in my life and every time I look at the sky and stars (as we always used to do).
I want my brother’s story be a simple and direct message to the world, to have attention about those innocent Iraqis who die everyday without guilt and their spirits be stolen suddenly in such way..
I ask everyone who reads my words, just to close his eyes for seconds.. feel me .. and imagine the hard life in which Iraqis are living in .. if you do, help us to object this situation in my country, because no one except god has right to take our spirits from us, because it is not fair.. also I ask you to pray for him to make his soul comfort, and his guilt to be forgiven and be happy by hearing your prayers
Yours’ ,
The loyal sister,
Rita Jan Thomas Poushijian. "
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Very truthful, and powerful words, from an loyal sister..
Sunshine

Why ?????? ....

Hi
I couldn’t write a post I was really busy with my exams, and homework, I finished my book manuscript and Luke edited it for me, I’ll send it to uncle and he’ll contact my friends who said they can help me by finding a publisher.
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It has been the hardest two week in my life.
First we were threatened by terrorists who wanted to kill my dad, I spent the whole nights thinking, and crying, I was in shock, and terrified.
I couldn’t study anything, I couldn’t concentrate and I did horrible in all of my exams, I am expecting low marks, during the classed I kept wondering with tears in my eyes, what will happen next? Will they Kill my dad? Kidnap one of my family members? Why ? we’re not rich, don’t belong to any political party, very simple family, and never harmed anyone, what do those terrorists want? Money? Or they just want to terrify us?..
On Friday morning, my mom told me that dad was asking her to take care of the kids, and his parents, I went to my room, opened my book to study but I burst into tears, and cried for long time until I was unable to open my eyes, and my book page was completely wet. I throw the book away, and kept blaming myself and cry for not doing my best to fix my relationship with dad, I was telling myself, what have I done? If something bad happens to dad, I won’t forgive myself ever, part of me was ordering me to go to my dad, apologize and make sure he forgives me for every time I was adversarial to him, for every word I said and made him upset, for every night I slept without wishing him a good night, but I couldn’t, I was tight, I don’t know why..
I suffered from horrible headache and insomnia, I want my dad to see me publishing my first book, graduating from the best collage, being successful person in my life, and more important I want to be so nice to him and make him forget everything, every disparity we had, & every time we argued, I hope he’ll forget those memories.. and be proud of the girl he raised, although he tells me he’s proud but I want to make him even more prouder..
Dad wasn’t prefect with me, he’s out of temper and not optimistic, we have very different personalities that’s why we argue a lot.. but I know he loves me more than anyone else, and want the best for me, he’d do anything to make sure I have the best life ever, it is just that we look at the same thing and see it in different way, we have different perspectives . we love each other , but for some reasons, our relationship became bad
I want my dad to remain safe, and I’ll accept him in the way he’s.. and I wouldn’t replace him with any father in the whole planet ..
My dad doesn’t know how did I feel in the last 2 weeks, how did I spend my time, or how sorry I was, he doesn’t know how terrified I felt from the idea or losing him, I was really worried, and I realized how much I love him, but I don’t have the courage to tell him..
I’ll give 200% of my energy to fix our relationship, I know my friend R would do anything to bring her father back to life, or even spend one more day with her daddy, remember the good days together, and apologies for every time she acted selfishly or bothered her father, she was devastated when she lost him , she wore black clothes for a whole year, locked herself in her room, and I was really worried that she may loose her mind or become more depressed . until now her eyes fill with tears each time she remember him, I feel her pain, and know how much does she miss her dad..
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today as soon as I reached home, my mom’ face was pale, she looked terrified, she told me that a big explosion near my relative’s office occurred, thank god they are alive, in the afternoon my parents decided to visit them, I didn’t have exam so I went with them, my mom called her friend who has a clinic near the explosion, & mama kept saying ““ NOO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? OH NO OH NO “ , she ended that call and said “ Dr. S said that Ravi was killed in that explosion, Dr. S’s clinic damages were 75%, but she wished it was damaged 100% and didn’t lose Ravi .
Ravi is the sweetest guy, and the best neighbor, he was the first one who taught me how to use internet, he’s about 37 years old, very shy, very polite, loved by everyone, he’d never hurt anyone, or anything not even an ant, his sister Rita is my best friend, and the whole family is lovely, they don’t have relatives in Iraq, they lost them in their emigration from Armenia to Iraq, and they don’t have anyone to share their good and bad events with but their friends and neighbors..
Ravi is truly remarkable person, his dad is a professor, and whatever I say I can’t sympathize him, he surely doesn’t deserve to die because of a extremist, crazy person who exploded a car in the middle of a local market, I can’t say anything but may god bless his soul , and give his family, neighbors and friends patience to get through this unexpected and tragic event.
Rita sent me a message saying “ I lost my brother, my brother died” it’s devastating, there isn’t any family in Iraq who hasn’t been threatened, or lost a son, father, daughter, or a friend, there isn’t any family that didn’t see the house they live in damaged, we are all hurt, but we’ll continue praying to see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. In this week three big explosions happened near my school and the roads were blocked, and we hear explosions the whole time..
I don’t cry easily, but I spent those two weeks crying most of the time, I am depressed, terrified, sad, and in this moment I have no hope..
I heard in news that the violent will increase in Mosul..
Sunshine

Everyman is the architect of his own fortunes..

School started last Sunday & I got my marks, they are good, and I got one of the highest in my class, but I wasn’t satisfied with physics’ mark, I didn’t get the mark I was seeking for..
I got 96% in English, 92% in French, and 91% in Arabic which is really awesome, taking high marks in French and Arabic in My school is like “mission impossible”. And what made me extremely happy is that my essay in Arabic got the highest mark, one of the best essays I’ve ever wrote.
“Z” (my school-mate) who was injured in the explosion attended school, when I saw her for the first time, I was shocked, her face is defaced, she didn’t look like herself, but the most important thing is she’s alive, and no matter how does she look from the outside, she’ll remain the” Z” I knew from inside.
“Z” is one of the smartest students in the sixth class, this year will define her future career depending on the marks she’ll get in the final exams .
After the 5th class, many students study in the Summer holiday preparing for the sixth class, they choose the teachers they want, create a group contain 8 or 10 students and they take the class in the teacher’s house or in one of the students’ house, some students prefer to study the scientific subjects only, while others prefer to study both scientific & literary subjects, we call it the private lessons, for many it is expensive, as you know the unemployment in Iraq is increasing, and the salaries are not high, my friend will stay in her grandparents’ house in Mosul because the cost of the private lessons in Mosul is less than Baghdad (about 250000-300000 Dinars for each subjects in Mosul)..
for me I’ll study physics, mathematics, chemistry, and Arabic in the summer holiday, because the teachers in school can’t finish the whole curricula during the academic year, and I can’t make sure if the situation will be good and I’ll be able to attend school everyday.. beside some teachers don’t explain well, and when students ask them to explain the lesson again they say “why? All of you attend private lessons”..
My mom got one of the highest marks in her school, and she didn’t study anything during the summer holiday. she could attend the best university in Iraq, at that time the teachers used to do their best and make sure every student understand the lesson, unfortunately nowadays some teachers refuse to answer our questions, and don’t explain well.
The post was quite short, because I have very limited time of electricity …
Sunshine