Sunshine, the collegiate girl...

Finally I finished the exams, on Monday at 10:45 I finished the last examination which was French, I can't describe my happiness in words, the high school is over, and I can rest now, no more studying at late time, no more private lectures , wow, I didn't have a break for long time.
This year the questions were unexpectedly hard in general, but I did well ..
The first exam was religion, personally I found the exam easy, because I studied really well, then we had Arabic exam, the questions were just fine, I didn't find them too hard nor easy, then we had English exam which was so easy and I did great.
I did ok in biology exam, although the questions were difficult and many students postponed the exam..
The fourth exam was mathematics, when I got the questions paper I was expecting someone to come and say it is joke or there is a mistake, they were unbelievable, we kept looking at the questions feeling confused, at about 11 am , the classroom was almost empty, students left without answering a question, they postponed it, students started to cry, our future depends on the marks we'll get.
the curriculum has hundreds of questions, why did they bring such huge numbers (in millions) and hard questions? We are not even allowed to use the calculator.. It is silly, just like they were telling us "no matter what you do , you will not answer them" and what makes me really mad is one of the questions was actually wrong..
My marks in mathematics range between 100 and 97 , my teacher called me the night before exam he said "I have such a high confidence that you'll take 100% easily, you're one of the smartest students I've taught , so I just want to make sure you are relaxed and have a high spirit" , but a voice in my heart kept saying that the questions will shock the students and teachers..
Many of My friends postponed the exam, others, like myself, decided to answer them no matter what.. I didn't give up and leave the exam, but I did badly….At that day, I lost control of my feelings, and started to cry with sorrow, why? Because the questions were so difficult and only few didn't postpone it ? .. I remembered the times I used to walk for so long in order to reach the lecture under the burning summer sun at 2 pm, and even though I used to take full marks and impress the teacher with intelligent questions, he trusted in me and my family believed in me, I answered AT LEAST 200 questions in every chapter during the memorizing period (we have 6 chapters so can you imagine how many questions did I answered?!!! And how many questions did I answer during the whole year?) and even though I didn't do as well as I expected. what also made me cry is why did these teachers put those questions? didn’t' they have mercy, and aren't they aware of how much effort we had to make in such horrible situation, what kind of Iraqis are they?..
When the exam was over I saw many parents waiting in the yard, they heard about the questions and came to school to support their daughters, my family kept receiving phone calls from relatives and friends asking about me, I felt comfortable to know that I wasn't alone, and I actually did better than many ! Few days later the minister was on TV. In an interview about the hard questions he said
"that's right we brought such hard questions on purpose, there are too many doctors in Iraq and we need other professionals " what an excuse !
on chemistry the questions weren't easy, but much better than the mathematics, at least we could figure out how to answer them after long thinking..
on physics I did great and I expect a full mark .. and on French I did ok, although the question were hard..
the only thing that bothers me, is the students who belong to a certain cast or certain militias know the questions in advance, and there are partialities in marking the papers.. I hope this year all the students will be treated equally , because we are all Iraqis.. and the other thing that may surprise you, is you can buy the question, it costs 640 $ for every subject, unfortunately some students buy them, but as for me and my friends, and the good people, we prefer to succeed depending on our own selves without cheating..
every day I used to leave the house 2 hours before the exam starts to make sure I can arrive in time, our friend's relatives were generous and allowed me to wait till the exam starts in their house, I spent such a nice time and we became friends .. I was really relaxed with high spirit before the exams.
so , now I won't think about school IT IS OVER FOREVER.
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My plans for the holiday :
On the day I finished the exams, we went to celebrate in a casino, and we had a great time .. my sister and brother played and had so much fun ..
First of all, I'll start working on my book again, my agency waited me long enough till I finished my exams, and I'll post more posts I need to think about new things to write about , maybe you could suggest something?!
I also want to have a new look, something suits a collage girl.. play sport and lose few pounds, so I'll start a diet.. and I want to make a lot of handmade work, of course I'll cook a lot ! and do the house work.. I'll learn how to drive, my dad will teach me, and we'll buy a new car model 2009, I suggested "Sunny" I like it hehe.. anyway I can't have a driving license until I become 18 :D
My friends and i want to have a party, after we get our marks, and we'll also go to Baghdad after my grandparents come from Dubai (to visit my aunt Rose).
My grandparents invited me to spend the whole holiday in their house, but I don't think I can, I'll miss my mom so much, beside she'll feel alone without me, so I think I'll spend couple of weeks only.
I also want to chat with my friends, I miss them a lot, and answer my dear readers' E-mails ..
And a lot more !!!
Sunshine, the collegiate girl..
(I have tons of e-mails to answer, so please If I forgot to answer one of your e-mails re-email me on livesstrong92@yahoo.com or livesstrong92@gmai.coml and I'll answer asap)

Few days before the exams ..

Hello all, I didn't have time to write a post for so long, I re-studied all the subjects perfectly well, and I am ready for the examinations which will be on 20/6 , and my holiday (which I deserve so much) will be on the sixth of july…
My friends and I decided to allocate money and buy fuel for the school generator, so we can have at least a fan during the exams!, as we don't have air coolers or air conditioners, any way a fan will be better than nothing in the Iraqi hot summer..
Usually I used to go to the nearby markets every week , so I don't feel bored and depressed..
My spirit is high right now, the exams will be after only 2 weeks, I just want the sixth class to be over, i feel excited but a little bit worry, I know I've done the best I could and I'll be satisfied with the results, hopefully.. something in my heart is telling me that everything will go on well, I pray every day that the I'll be able to answer well, and the streets will be opened, and the situation can be better, because right now, the situation is horrible ..
I feel so lucky to have such great readers, and friends who makes me feel much better whenever I feel worried or bored, so I thank you all from the bottom of my hearts for the supporting comments and E-mails, I'll answer all the 500 e-mails in the summer holiday.. I'll also have so many other plans, and of course posts, a lot of posts!!
My goal is either going to the pharmacy , or communication engineering, both of those collages are great ..
Sunshine

Back to you, with few lines...

Hello friends, it has been such long time since I wrote my last post (or used internet), I am so busy with studying , I didn't check my inbox for a month, I postponed the interviews , and postponed working on my book until I finish the sixth class my exams will start on 20/6 and last for two weeks, the last exam will be on the sixth of July.
So, I am studying well, I finished mathematics, English, chemistry and French..
I have to say, I felt tired in the last three weeks more than anytime during the whole year,
I wake up feeling exhausted and bored, everyday is like the day before, I wake up at 6 am, start studying at 7 am, I have 30 minutes break at 11 am (sometimes I don't), and then I study till 12 after noon, take a short nap, have lunch and study again from 3 pm till 7 pm, then one hour break and study till bed time, so I spend about 11-12 hours a day studying.
during studying chemistry in another teachers' explanation booklets, I found that my teacher whom my parents pay lot of money to give me private lectures , skipped some subjects, I needed 3 days more than the scheduled time to finish them, when my teacher came I asked her about those subjects she replied " oh yea, I didn't explain them, they are hard and annoying it will be better to leave them, they are not important at all" then she turned to my mom and said " your daughter bother herself with hard subjects which never come in the ministerial exams, instead of studying the important things" , for two hours I kept asking her questions about different things and she couldn't answer any of them, I was shocked to know she could ONLY teach the subjects and questions in her explanation booklet, she memorize them only! But what about the other subjects in the curricula?!!
I perfectly understood the subjects she taught me and could answer every question she asks , but I found out that there are other subjects that I never heard of !!.. At the end of the lecture I told her (while my grandma and mom were listening) that all of those questions were from the ministerial exams for the past years, and those two subjects that she skipped (and the teacher in school also didn't know to explain them) are so important ,every year such questions related to those subjects (about heat and pH come ) must have at least 15 marks in the ministerial exams!. and showed her the ministerial questions for the last 20 years , she made me only answer the questions she understood and could explain!! She couldn't say a word, she felt ashamed, I felt heart-broken I trusted her, and thought she'll teach me the whole curriculum, I was feeling so tired, from studying day and night, I didn't have any break when I studied chemistry I was angry and had killing headache at last I started to cry, I told her "you couldn't answer ministerial exams? I must study every possible subject, not only those I like, I can't leave any subject because it is too annoying, it is my future madam"
I kept crying for two hours, I felt betrayed, at the beginning she seemed a good teacher, but after she took her money( one million dinars) she didn't explain the last 2 chapters, and explained the most important subject organic chemistry so badly, I studied the subjects she skipped, alone, and I understand them and the organic chemistry about 90%but I decided to re-study them and if I find any difficulty I'll ask someone else , I hate to leave a subject without understanding it at least 99% ..
At that night I talked with Baghdad dentist and oliver branch , those wonderful dear friends supported me and made me forget my sadness (thank you guys)..
I thank god for lightening my way and making me look in other resources, I feel grateful, it is not too late I can repeat chemistry 3 times till I have confidence and go to the exam without feeling worried.
The situation in Mosul is really bad, 2 weeks ago, 5 mines exploded just behind our house, the neighborhood was full of soldiers, there were many inspections, I had to give 200% of my energy to concentrate, but on Sunday (two weeks ago), I woke up with so much energy to study, at 10 am a mine exploded, my sister was studying in the garden she was panicked, and ran to the living room, we stayed together studying, 30 minutes later another mine exploded, I told her that I think there'll be more mines to explode( I felt so !) my sister looked at me and said "I'll do exactly like you when you can't concentrate, I will study in the bathroom" , well I do that a lot, bathroom is safe it has one small window,, not too hot nor cold, and it has more light than other rooms!! As the bathroom was taken I sat on the floor behind the library, and "tried" to study ..
in 3 hours, 4 mines exploded, whenever a mine explode, I have to check all the windows and replace the wood laths .every time I started to study that day something interrupted me, shooting or explosion, It was a bad day, I couldn't finish all the subjects I was supposed to finish, and at noon I couldn't tolerate I decided to take a walk outside the neighborhood !
Here is a pic for my new desk, I had to bring another bigger table, and put it near the only window in my room, (we had to replace the others with wood , for safety).. I am giving my extra efforts, and I'll be satisfied with every result I have , because I know I am tolerating a lot, luckily my friends neighborhoods is much safer than mine, they said if they lived in my neighborhood, there is no way they could concentrate.

I wish the shooting and explosions will stop , and It will be a miracle, if we can have electricity more often , I'll feel the luckiest person in the whole world, my eyes hurts me when I stay late at night studying with torch light, I can't study more than two hours with poor light! Sometimes I wonder Am I demanding too much??? !!
On 25th of April, we celebrated my mom's birthday, I made a surprising party for her and invited our relatives, we spent lovely time…
Sunshine

Tous les reves peuvent se realiser rien n'impossible ...

Finally I finished the curricula and I started to re-study and memorize all the subjects two days ago..
I found that studying at home is much better than going to school, passing through dangerous roads and wasting time specially that our teachers don't explain well and sometimes explain in a wrong way!!
I study about 10 hours in these days, I do exercises everyday, listen to music, read a part of "la tahzan" book, and try to make my spirit high.
The first subject that I started to study is mathematics, everyday is scheduled, what time to rest, or exercise, or take a nap, in this way I won't waste a second, and also I will not exhaust myself and be in such a hurray.
On Thursday I went to the medical collage, I have tens of friends there and they kept urging and begging me to make a visit, I had a great time there, I have friends from different stages..
My best friend O and her group took me to the anatomy laboratory, they said I have to face my fear and see a "dead body"!!! the funniest thing is first I didn’t know where they were going to take me, when I entered the laboratory and saw human skeleton I ran out , and they drag me inside !! Anyway after awhile I got used to it..
Then we went to the cafeteria, then the stadium, the guys were playing football and basketball, I saw all the places in the collage, and then I went to another friend to support her while she was presenting her graduation project which was a seminar about malaria, when the seminar was over we celebrated, her group was very nice one, specially the humorous student from Baghdad who kept joking! I am sure they'll be great Drs.
On Tuesday I had two lectures, in the morning I had an Arabic lecture, the lecturer had some notes to tell us, and also taught us the right way to answer the essay, as we have to write one in the examination, last year the students were shocked when they had to write about a political subject!! When the lecture was over, the lecturer brought me a big present, and a very beautiful card, my friends felt so jealous, they said "why you???!!!!!! What about us??!!!" my lecturer respect and admire me a lot, he says that I am his "spiritual daughter", whenever I talk he pay me attention and sometimes we discuss our ideas about a certain book or so, he said he rarely find girls my age like the Arabic literature and the famous old poets, and he also like my writings (the Arabic ones). I feel so happy and blessed to know such a great person..
At noon I went to another teacher, I studied the genetics by myself but I had some questions about the subject, so grandpa took me to his workmate's sister who is a biology teacher..
Honestly, unlike most of the 6th grade student I am excited because "the 70 days of studying" started.. as it is said " the 1000 miles journey starts with a step"
And as my friend Baghdadentist always tell me "tous les reves peuvent se realiser rien n'impossible" I wrote encouraging sentences such as poems and aphorisms and stoke them on the mirror and closet!
Sunshine...

High school memories …

Thursday was our last day in high school together, we had a great party, a lot of food, music and dancing, we played different kind of music, Arabic, western, Iraqi and Kurdish songs, I enjoyed every second, we kept hugging each other, old memories came back specially when my friend" A" said a lovely poetry about the six years we spent together and the teachers who taught us, it was very emotional..
I took my brother with me, and he had a pleasant time
The food was great, I brought Dolma, I looked funny when I was carrying a big pot and salver!! The best part was when my friend D (she's Kurdish), taught us how to dance the Kurdish Dabka, I learnt fast and D told me that I became faster and better in dancing Kurdish Dabka than her!! It was awesome the majority of girls joined in Dabka, others were either clapping, or taking pics for us, the girls who danced were Arabs, Kurdish, and even Turkmen, from Mosul, Baghdad and from other cities, no matter what are our casts and backgrounds we enjoy sharing each other the traditional dances.. at the end of the party I was unable to sense my toes , imagine 5 hours of dancing wearing high heels!!
Oh god, I can't believe it has been six years since I met my gorgeous classmates, there has been great and bad memories, my friends and I cried and laughed together, shared each other everything, we are really like one family, when one of us get hurts, have hard times like threats or losing someone close we all feel the pain, cry together and try to be supportive, when we feel that one of our classmates is not able to buy the necessary things and in need, we allocate our saves and buy too expensive gifts for birthday or any occasion without making our friend feel that we are intending to help.
when one of us have something pleasant like a wedding or party we all feel happy,we help her with choosing clothes make up advice her how to do her hair etc, and even do her homework as she will be busy !! when one of us cant understand a subject all the students try to teach her, repeat the subject over and over till she understands it! The relationship we have is strong, and I wish it'll always remain like this..
I'll share you some of my best memories;

I smile whenever I remember that time we had teacher's day in the third class, we thought the break time will last for long as the teachers were having a party, my friend H was complaining that she doesn't know the Turkamny dabka although she's Turkmanian, and my friend L offered to teach her how to dance the Kurdish dabka instead, my friends joined them and L started to explain the steps, and then all the girls started to dance Dabka together, while I played the rhythm on the desk using rulers!! Suddenly the door was opened and the history teacher came in!! We were shocked then started to laugh, the teachers party was canceled because a VIP came to school!!
In the fourth class, I had the best time in the end of the year, when we knew that our marks were really high that we don't have to attend the final examinations for most of the subject, and a band came to school, we practiced to sing a song about Iraq, I had a great time, the musicians played really well, and I liked the song a lot, it was our first song and it was shown in the national TV. And on satellite channels! The training was so much fun, there are many good voices in our class..
My other best memory also when I asked my friends to make a surprise for our friend R who lost her dad and several relatives, I thought she needed to feel excited and happy so I decided to buy her a PC computer, my friends participated with some of their saves and I bought the computer, wrapped it and took the present to school. The students, teachers, and R were shocked, it was the best birthday gift ever..
In the 5th class, with the help of older girls we allocated money for the students who were forced to leave their cities, the sums we allocated was big, we bought blankets, clothes, and everything they may need with part of the money and gave them the rest in cash, and we made a party for them as well, it was fun.. in the same year I started to sell magazines in school and the profits went to the orphans in Mosul, I am very blessed and happy that I got the chance to help people in need, the teachers used to encourage and help us to do good things for others..
In the sixth class the best thing that happened was the final party for us together and the competition we had with the boys..
Beside all the good events there has been very painful memories, when R lost her dad and several relatives, when M lost her mother, whenever a classmate have to leave Iraq, or get a threat, as well as all the times we had to hide under our desks when shooting starts, there has been terrifying battles near school, a mortar once fall, too many car bombs exploded, mines etc .. Many times we had to go walking among the tanks; our way to school is dangerous.
I'll always remember the good events and laugh, and the hard ones will only give me the strength, power and make me prepared for every hard thing I may face in the future
Sunshine.
PS. we don't know when will our exams be, some say it will be on the first of June, others say it'll be on the 20th of June !! too many bruits, but I made two schedules to be prepared for any date, so I know exactly what to study each day for the next 70 days !! I need your prayers and wishes, I am doing the best I can…

My diaries in short...

I spend most the time these days studying, I stay up till 11 pm and wake up next day at 6:30 to go to school, I am not getting enough time to sleep, and my face looks tired, but I know these days will pass, but the result of my study will not fade away, so… I can sleep later.
The situation this week was very bad, many car bombs exploded, we hear shooting the whole time, many were killed or injured, and many roads were closed, I spend more than an hour trying to find an opened road in my way from school to my house, I arrive exhausted, with red face and killing headache after I take a nap for an hour to rest, I have physics or chemistry lectures at home, after that I do my homework while I listen to slow music, and my favorite songs ..(I like Whitney Huston, blue, west life, George Michael, Shania twin, Josh Groban, and too many to mention, I also like country music a lot, and I hear Arabic and some Iraqi music)..

In spite of the unbearable situation, I feel very optimistic and positive this week, because I didn't hear TV or radio news at all, whenever someone starts to complain about the situation and hard life I go away, when I feel stressed a little bit I put headphone and enjoy my new MP4,I read at least one page of the gorgeous book ( la tahzan= don't be sad), I try to create good things, instead of waiting for good things to happen to enjoy myself and everyone around me ..
You remember when I talked about the competition?? I have good news, both sides got the same marks.. It was a great competition but the judges were unfair with our side, they asked us harder questions and also about things we'd never heard of in our life!! When we answer a question but make one mistake they give us zero, while they give the other team one or two marks even if they didn't answer the whole question correctly, the teachers told the judges to be fair, but they didn't listen, I have to admit the antagonist was very smart, but we did better..
We competed with guys; they were dressed up very nice, my friend told me that she knew from one of them that two guys bought new clothes for the competition to look handsome; they wanted to impress us, as they were competing with 22 girls! Well to tell the truth many looked handsome, I love the spiky hairstyle a lot, and their clothes seemed very modern and new: D
Next Thursday, my classmates and I will have our final party in high school, and we'll have to say good bye to each other as we may not be in the same collage next year, it'll be hard to do so, we've been together for 6 years, shared each other the good and bad times, cried and laughed together.. I wish everyone the best of luck..
I'll start to finish the curricula alone on 22/3, I need 8 days to study them well, after that I'll restudy everything I've been studying since April 2008 when I started to prepare for the ministerial examination which will be on 28/5 or the first of June..
Sunshine

Last days in high school..

After a busy busy week "as usual", many exams, homework, and lectures after school, I feel exhausted.
Only two weeks left and then we, the students' of the 6th class, will stay at home.. For 60 days to study to be ready for ministerial exams, the par we take will define the collage we'll attend.. the students who'll take the highest marks will be able to choose the collage they want, the lower marks they get, the less choices they have ..
Anyway, I am doing my best, and I know from my heart, that no matter what collage I'll attend, it'll be the best for me, but I still feel nervous in these days, because I keep studying, and attending lectures, and still have about 1/3 of the curricula left !! When our 60 days of hard work begins I'll have more time to study, concentrate, and make sure I understand all the subjects that I didn't understand completely..
This week I didn't go to school for two days, the situation wasn't good and the roads were closed..
I already made a schedule for my daily routine in the 60 days , I'll study very well, but I don't want to harm my eyes, health, or loose my mind ! so I'll spend 20 minutes a day playing sport, 15 minutes for reading my favorite book la tahzan (it means don't be sad), it gives me strength and makes me relax, I'll use internet once a week, write a post when I can, and do my favorite hobby which is writing for 10 minutes before I go to bed, I feel much better when I express my feelings, I love writing poems in Arabic, and lately I had so much passion that I could write a long poem within 10 minutes!! i don't know why, but I started to draw lately !! I never draw well, but my paintings in the last couple of weeks weren't bad! I feel glad, I always welcome new hobbies: D
I'll enjoy my last days in high school , in the same time I'll do my best so that I don't regret one day and say "only if I studied a little bit more"
There are some people who seems to enjoy scaring the 6th grade students, by telling stories about intelligent students who didn't take high marks and weren't lucky, whenever I meet such people I ignore them, and stay away.. What's meant to be, will happen no matter what ..
My mom bought me a new MP4, it is great, whenever I feel stressed from studying I listen to music and then go back to study with totally new high spirit ..
In these days, many competitions happened between different high schools in the city, next week it'll be our turn, the teacher chose 20 students to compete, and I am defiantly one of them, we'll do our best to win, like usual . These competitions are very useful, students realize the benefit of team-work, even if they loose.
I know I am not writing often, but I promise to write more and more when I finish the exams.

The encouraging E-mails and comments I get from my dear readers make me feel better, and give me totally new high spirit, even in the hardest times, so thank you ..
Sunshine.