Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Saturday, April 05, 2008

I started to attend private lessons...

I started to attend private lessons, preparing for the sixth class, which will define my future-career, on Wednesday my friends and I decided to go to the teacher's house directly after school, it is impossible to go home to have lunch, change our clothes and come back, the road is not safe at all and our houses are really far.
The driver parked two streets away, as the whole place around my school was crowded, I was walking with my friends, and tanks were in the street, I was really close to the tank, I looked at it as I passed, I was thinking " I am so close to the tank", it was less than 1 meter away, my heart was beating fast because it's the first time I go alone to a teacher's house, and I was thinking someone may attack the tank, anyway, as I was having my lunch in the car, I started to think silently the whole way, from this day my long journey began, I'll do my best, and get a high par, I hope nothing bad will happen, I need to concentrate and forget about my whole week, I should format my brain (as Baghdadentist say), I should also relax, which is like mission impossible for me, but I have to do my best ..
We looked for the teacher's house, 15 minutes before the exact time, I hate to reach late, the teacher was really nice, he can't see clearly, we introduced our selves, he said to me, " I know you, from your voice, you're the girl who called me and arranged the group and date, yes! I remember you" and he was impressed by the group, he said " you are my favorite group, very polite, elegant, and intelligent " .. after the class ended the driver called us and said that the bridge is blocked, so we stayed in the teacher's house for an hour waiting, we were so embarrassed, but we did part of our homework there..
Wednesday was a great day for me, my English teacher brought A movie, and the whole class went to the computers' classroom, and we saw the movie on the wall (Data show), with pop corns, like a real cinema, although the movie was very miserable but we kept laughing!! I don't know why?! But we were excited a lot, we saw Oliver Twist, we have been reading this novel since the Academic year started, every 2 weeks we read a chapter, we had great time, non of us had ever been into Cinema, because of the bad situations .. I needed to have a good day after what happened this week..
It was really hard week, I had many asthma attacks, the threat became more serious, my dad refuses to stay in a safe place or leave Mosul for awhile till the situation gets better, and my friend M lost her mom, in a car bomb, it was a tragedy, when I heard about her mother's death, I kept crying the whole time, and fell ill for two days, unable to even stand up, I lost 6 pounds in those 2 weeks, I don't have any desire to eat..
M is really intelligent girl, she is a retiring girl ,she trust only few people, and I am glad to be one of them, her dad had been missing for 5 years, and her mom who was a teacher took care of M and her 2 sisters (age 18, and 13), now M was left without her parents, she's only 16, what guilt she had done to live without a mother and Father, how can she continue her life without her mother? Her supporter? The shoulder she cry on? The person who teach her, take care of her, guide her, advice her, oh my god, one day her mother was there, and the other day she died because of a freak person who put a car bomb in a neighborhood? How would M feel when she see her parents bedroom without her parents? It is really hard, harder than anyone's imagination..
M couldn't attend school for several days, of course, but on Sunday she came to the class, and sat silently in her desk, we were nodding our heads signing to each other , and encouraging each other to go and talk to her, we all gathered around her desk, she was crying and the girls were calming her down, I only said " we are here for you" and started to cry, my friend took me a side, because I wasn't helping, I could hold my tears when Rita lost her brother, and when R lost her dad, and in many events, but I can't hold my tears when I see M crying, my mom is everything in my life, I can't imagine my life 5 minutes away from her, this event made me really loose my mind, I had continuous headache, I can't sleep nor study well, because I can't live normally, I check my mom every second when she's away, in our relatives' house or in her work, I am freaking out, the terrorists want to kill my dad, and danger is everywhere around me, my mom , and everyone.. how can I make hard efforts to study if I feel powerless, I feel sleepy the whole time, but can't sleep well, and yes of course my night bruxisin is getting worse, and I have spasm in my legs, hands, neck, and everywhere, because of my stress which I can't control..
I admire M's courage, she's attending school everyday, doing her homework, attending exams and taking 100%, I'd say she's a hero because she didn't kill herself after her mom's death, I can't find a word to describe her courage, her determination, I don't know how can she handle everything.. I was there for R, Rita and their families, and I'll be there for M and help her in every possible way, all the girls in my class are with her, in the break-time, the girls and I explain to her the lessons she missed..
******************************************************
Today Rita came to my house, they'll move to another neighborhood, when her dad visited us, he was crying and said "I can't stay in this house anymore, every corner reminds me of Raffi "
I'll miss her, she's my best friend, neighbor, and hero, but I'll be happy when I see her and her family doing well, she read all of your comments, and her eyes filled with tears while she was reading your encouraging words, so on her behalf I thank you all for being supporters ..
She's doing well, attending collage and studying hard, she's really strong, stronger than I’m, she's dealing with her loss, today we heard a song, she laughed and told me that Raffi loved this song a lot, she also started to laugh with tears in her eyes and said " we used to fight when it comes to TV. we used to watch Romantic movies on Thursday nights, and he used to throw pillows on me while we watch TV".
It is hard to lose someone means the world for you, and it's hard when you fear about this person 24/7…
Please, pray for my parents' safety, my family, and all of the Iraqi's safety, the situation is getting worse, everyday when I go to bed, I wonder how will my next day be, I pray for god to keep everyone safe ..
Sunshine..

26 Comments:

At 7:30 PM, Anonymous Regina said...

Sunshine, I'm Regina and from Singapore. I recently came across from Melissa Walker's website. You are really really talented! I will pray for my parents' safety. God bless. =]

BTW you are 2 years older then me. Hehehe.

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger tootie said...

Glad you got to see a movie with your class!

We will most definitely keep you and your in our prayers!!

 
At 12:40 AM, Blogger John said...

I'll be praying for you and your family Sunshine. I'm always impressed by how brave you and your friends are but I'm always sad when I read about the horrors that are happening.

 
At 6:24 AM, Blogger Mister Ghost said...

Hello Sunshine,
Well I hope somehow your family and you could leave Mosul for a while, until the situation becomes better.
Well, your friends M and Z, Rita and Raffi, you are doing a great job of bringing their stories, however sad, to our attention.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Dear Sunshine: Sending you, your family and friends my best thoughts and prayers, every single day.

 
At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's Mum, my Mum means a lot to me too so even though I'm a lot older and I don't live with her I would be so upset. :(
hugs from London.
Rhiannon.

 
At 11:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I had enough money to bring you and your family and friends to live in New Zealand. God bless and stay strong.

Stef

 
At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunshine,

Why won't your father agree to finding a safer situation? This just doesn't seem right. There will be no turning back if someone in your family is killed. Life is so much more important than everything else! I honestly think you should set up a donation fund, so your virtual friends can help you get to someplace where you don't have to live in this constant state of fear and mourning. I'm sorry, maybe I should just say "I will pray for you". But it's just not good enough. Your family needs to get to a safe place. All of the bombs and death, how is that effecting your psychology? Your family's psychology? Shouldn't you escape while you can? What is it going to take, the death of your mother or father, before you realize you're in a fatal environment?

Please, Sunshine, get to safety! Be proactive and take control of your destiny. Get to some place you can survive and blossom. The Iraq occupation is far from over. If the US attacks Iran, which they threaten everyday here in the US, then you are going to be up a creek without a paddle.

I pray for your safety everyday. I hope you can remove yourself from harm's way. Soon.

 
At 2:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunny, my thoughts and prayers go out to M. That is hearbreaking Please let her know that many people care, and will help if there is any way possible. Her strength is a tribute to her mother. You said awhile back how you wanted to say so many things to your dad. Well I'll tell you a secret. Just hug him every day and tell him you love him. That will tell him everything. You are doing great with your studies. Whatever you decide for a career, I believe you will go far beyond it. It may choose you. Keep your Sun shining, Solo

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger dancewater said...

Sunshine, I hope things improve for you and Iraq really soon. Of course, I will pray for you and think of you.

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger `romantic guy said...

sunshine,u r really bright person,sure life in iraq is full of challenges but we "must" be stronger than them ........
we as "iraqi peaple" must overcome those challenges and win coz life must continue ........
sure i'll pray 4 u and ue parents coz u decieve the best life with them .......

with my best wishes

IRAQI ROMANTIC GUY

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunshine, perhaps trying meditation would be of help with the anxiety you must be feeling?

 
At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sunshine:
Please do the best that you can to keep up your lessons even though to do so there is only just possible.
You and the good people of Iraq, Afganistan, Tibet and etceteras all have the seeds of greatness and kindness with you and within you. Please keep up the good works.
From your friend and kind reader in South East U S A; X Y Z

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Lieutenant Fishman said...

Hang in there Sunny! Better days are ahead, we are making progress in Mosul and soon it will be like Falluja and Ramadi and Hit and Baquba and Mahmudiyah. It is nearly the end of the war now- this is the terrorists last stand and they know it but we are not going to give up. Someday you will read about the battle of Mosul in history books and all the shaheeds will be remembered for their sacrifice to freedom..

 
At 1:50 AM, Blogger cat said...

I love seeing movies with friends. We are going through a CPR/ First Aid class, and we just laugh at everything, it's really fun. Sunshine, keep up your strength. M is learning how to keep going in life, and just follow her example. Be pals, care for each other, laugh together, cry together, and most importantly, support each other to the best of your ability. I can't imagine even living how you are living, so I really have no clue what it's like, but I pray every day for your safety and the safety of your friends and family. I told one of my friends about you a couple months ago, and last time I saw her, she asked me how you were doing, and if you were OK. Just remember the awesome support you get from people all over the world, and keep strong. God is an Awesome God, and what is impossible for man is possible for Him. I pray that you will find comfort in the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that he will keep you safe from all harm. Luv and hugs,
Cat

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Ray-Ray said...

i worry about my parents a lot, too.

you are in my prayers as always.

 
At 11:02 PM, Anonymous Roy said...

It must be very hard to live the life you are living now. I would have a hard time just getting up everyday but somehow you manage to do it and that shows your strength. Stress is a very hard thing to deal with and you and your family must be dealing with more than your share of it. I wish you the best and was very happy to hear of you private lessons and the movie you were able to see. I just wish you could get out of Mosul until this is over. I worry about you and your family as though you were my family.

 
At 12:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dear Brave Sunshine,

The day will come when the darkness passes. Until then, never forget the sun always rises. Blessings to you, your family, and your community. We are praying for you.

 
At 3:00 AM, Blogger Jhondie said...

I wish there was something more I could do, but I will pray for you and your loved ones. May God watch over you all.

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Ripama said...

Sunshine,

As always, you've composed an especially memorable post. There's never a dull, or peaceful, moment in the life of Sunshine.

The small part you play on the world stage is important. You've personalized you life, your fears, and your feelings. You've shown us the pain and compassion of your family and friends. You keep giving us reasons to admire you, and to hope and pray for your family and friends.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Michomeme said...

Hi Sunshine

Should I be happy that you and your familly still ok, or should I feel sad because all of these difficulties you all are facing in Musul, or all Iraqis everywhere, believe me Sunshine, it is getting wors even in Baghdad, I always pray that me, my father and fiance will be all safe and protected by God, I will pry for you, your familly and friends, and all the iraqis who are suffering every single day and who are facing terror every minuts to be save and protected by God.

You realy reminded me of the sixthe year of school, that was realy fun for me, you'll maybe feel tired because all the private lessons you take, but believe me they will be the most wonderfull time you share with friends, you will never forget them.

I went three times to cinema, it was realy fun, I wish you will have the chance to go to the cinema someday.

be safe girl, work hard on your studies. I wish you all the best


Yous sister from Baghdad
Micho

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger David said...

Dear Sunshine, I am so sorry for your friend M's loss of her mother. I am also very touched by the kindness that you showed to her and the many other kindnesses that you have shown before. I hope that you and your family will continue to be safe. Keep working hard in school. I know it is nearly impossible for you to study sometimes, but just do your best. I hope your private lessons will go very well. It sounds like you have a very kind teacher. I wish you best of luck!

P.S. I hope you can enjoy many movies someday in the cinema. :)

 
At 9:17 PM, OpenID frecklescassie said...

I am also 16 and also in school. I live in Texas in the United States and my school and neighborhood are much safer.

Thank you for sharing so honestly about your friends and about what is happening in Iraq. I am so sorry that George Bush decided we should invade and make such a mess of things.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Marshmallow26 said...

Oh Sweetie my heart is aching for what I've just read :(

I can't describe how the world looked dark to me when my mom passed away!!
God be with M, God be with Ritta & her family and God be with you & your family...


Please Sunny if you can move up to north and study there I guess that would be safer, don't risk your life.

With love

Marsho

 
At 7:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunshine,

If you know of any Iraqi college graduates who would like to pursue graduate-level education in the USA, please tell them to apply for the Fulbright Scholarship...

http://iraq.usembassy.gov/pr_04172008.html

It includes:
- tuition at the U.S. university,
- a living and book/supply stipend,
- round-trip international airfare to the U.S. and back, and
- health benefits for the duration of the study program

 
At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Mike said...

Hello,my name is Mike,i want to colaborate with you,if you want please contact me: miharex@yahoo.com
Thanks

 

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