Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Unbearable ..

Hello friends, it has been such a crazy chaotic week .. too many things happened, when I look back at my week I say "oh god I went through all of that?!!!!"
this week I was so busy with school, I had so much homework, also there were problems in school with a teacher, we want to have a different Arabic teacher, we have such a great teacher in school who taught the 6th grade for over than 28 years, and we want her to teach us this year instead of the teacher we have now who explains in a wrong way !!! .
beside being busy with school, and homework, this week was really bad, the situation became unbearable, the terrorists killed many Christians, and bombed their houses for no reason but trying to separate us from each other (which won't happen, our hearts are with the Christians in Mosul, we are praying for them continuously), many families left their city, and went to country side, I am so worried about all Christians I know, my neighbors, teachers, and friends, my best friend in the whole world is Christian, I don't know what will happen to me if terrorists hurts her or her family, I hope she'll remain safe, I pray for her and all Iraqis every single day..
I can't imagine that my neighbors, friends, and teachers who taught me for years, in kindergarten, primary and secondary were forced to leave and that they are living in the villages or churches, I heard that my favorite teacher is living in the tent, with her family and kids who left school, such a respectful loving and caring woman who taught generations for over than 30 years shouldn't live in a tent and be treated this way, nor the other Christians ..
What the hell the government is waiting for? 2000 families left Mosul last week, the terrorists are everywhere killing and threatening innocent Iraqis who belong to different religions and casts,.. we want a solution and we want it NOW ..
Few days ago, I came home tired from everything going on, the situation and school, I decided to take a nap before studying, I was falling asleep when something happened and I wasn't sure what was it at that time, my mom (half asleep) caught me from my arm and shouted without thinking "go to the kitchen" (she thought my brother was there) both of us ran to the kitchen but my brother wasn't there, she said "no run downstairs, to your brother" he was shouting and crying "mammy" I ran (half asleep) shoeless I was walking over things, dust and thick dark smoke filled the whole house (and still I didn't realize what happened!!), when I reached the last step in the stairs, I saw the living room in such horrible situation and damaged , just then my brain started working again and I realized it was big and close explosion ! I carried my brother who was shaking, shouting loud and standing in the corridor, then I felt that my legs failed me and I sat on the floor feeling dizzy trying to understand what had happened.
I heard my neighbors shouting and running in the street, my grandpa went out side to see what happened and heavy shooting started, grandpa (without thinking) drag my neighbor from his arm to avoid the gun-shots .. at that time my neighbor was in his way to his brothers' empty house to check it and see if it was damaged in a previous explosion happened earlier (my neighbor was threatened ,and left iraq with his family).
After few minutes another explosion happened, with tears on my brother's check he looked at me and said " you are a liar you said there won't be explosions any more" I couldn't answer, but I hugged him..
There were a lot of noise and shouts in the neighborhood, not everyone was lucky like my family and I, people died and others injured, one of my neighbors who is a new bride was injured badly in her face and neck, why should such a beautiful young lady live with scars in her face?? Oh god, your mercy, when will we have a peaceful life? I want to stop worrying and start living .. I missed school for one day, I stayed to help fixing the house, my brother went to grandpa while he was talking the man who'll make new windows for us and said "TELL HIM TO BRING BETTER WINDOWS THIS TIME SO THAT WHEN EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN NEXT TIME THEY DON'T BRAKE ,OK? my grandpa who's 70 years old cleaning and fixing the house
my grandma who's 63 years old cleaning ..
This week I had my eyes examined , I went with grandpa , dad and sister (my vision is good, and I am still making exercises), anyway, we were walking when grandpa's friend stop us to say hi .. I was looking around and a strange thing caught my sight..
There were about 6 or 7 men standing in the corner selling books, they frightened me so much, the way they looked and their clothes style made me suspicious, the only thing that came to my mind was "terrorists" because why would 7 men sell few books? One man could do it !! beside I can tell from the way they looked (and god knows, maybe they are good but I don't think so :D), I didn't give attention and turned to grandpa's friend who asked me about my news .. but the whole time I kept praying nothing bad will happen and my grandpa's friend leave us so that we leave quickly, my dad, sister , grandpa, and his friend were talking and laughing and didn't notice those men's' presence. my sister was standing behind me she saw a cute baby and was waving to him so that he pay her attention! I drag her from her arm and asked her to stay between me and dad, because one of those men was looking at me and my sister with scorn and humiliation, he was looking deep into my eyes with a killing evil look made me terrified, his eyes were red, I'll never forget the feeling I felt at that time, I was praying I wont be kidnapped ..
It upsets me to see such people walking in our streets while the politicians are too busy to work seriously and provide security .
I hope things will get better I pray for that every single day from the bottom of my heart …
Sunshine .
P.s the explosion was only 50 meters away from our house !!!


At 7:48 AM, Blogger XtnYoda said...

Dear Sunshine,

Your are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

We pray for you and your dear nation, for stability and safety.

Don't lose hope.


At 8:59 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

Oh sweet girl. I'm so sorry. Best wishes and prayers and loving thoughts to you and your family.

Hugs from Uganda.

At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish there was something we could do to help you. We can but hope and pray with you for your safe-keeping and for better times.


At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sunshine,

Our prayers go out to you and your family, and all of your neighbors.

I will tell you this: I had a very difficult time in my life recently, and I thought, "how would sunshine behave and react.. better be brave like her!" and then I felt much better.

God bless you all!

At 2:58 PM, Blogger Kadam007 said...

Ohh very emotional old is your brother? Mariam, I pray to God to get situation better n better in Mosul...Ciao

At 5:49 PM, Blogger John said...

That is terrible! I will pray more and harder for you and your family and friends. Stay safe -- Iraq needs you!

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Lela said...

Sunshine, I'm so sorry that you and your family are faced with violence and violent people. I think you are beautiful in how you expressed caring and compassion for those Christians who have been forced to leave their homes. I also think you are beautiful in your courage in expressing hope that innocent Iraqis, no matter what religion or caste, will ultimately prevail over the terrorists who want to force a different way of life. I, too, hope that the Iraq government will be able to give you, your family, and other innocent Iraqis the security you need to live your life the way you want to live it. Thank you, Sunshine, for sharing your life with us.

At 7:21 AM, Blogger Dancewater said...

may Allah bless you and keep you safe, and your whole family too. I wish you all could leave until it is totally safe to return.

At 7:54 PM, Blogger Lacost said...

Hi Sunshine,

I've been reading your blog for a while now and as soon as I heard about the attacks in Mosul this past week I thought of you. Though I'm sorry to hear about the damage to your house, the main thing is that I'm glad that you're OK!
You are truly an amazing person. Stay strong and be safe.


At 8:18 PM, Blogger Sunshine said...

Reading your comments make me feel much better, thank you so much..
my brother Yoyo is 4 years old..
with love,

At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

why does this blog have the same pictures as you?

At 1:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so happy you and your family are ok. This must take so much to keep up your faith and courage. I don't know how you do it but somehow you manage to do it. You are a very special person and I believe God has a very special plan for you.

At 4:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eni Sunshine,

I am so sorry to know all the bad things that are happening in your city. I can not understand why those terrorists are killing innocent people. I might understand if they were killing military people but not wonderful people like you.

I am glad that you are so brave but I want you to be careful and not get hurt.

Like others have wrote, I pray for you and all innocent Iraqi every day.

al umir al taweel inshalla

shukran gazeelan

tisbaheen ala kheerfriant

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Average American said...

Sunshine, it is just unbelieveable how you can stay so cool and write about an experience like that just days after it happened. I hope God continues watching over you and your family, and I hope the violence stops soon.

At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunny I read about this attack on the Global Voices site and ran right over here. I'm glad your family is ok. A house at least can be rebuilt. If it was possible your home would swarm with people ready to help. You have after all made your family, our family. I continue to be impressed by your keen sense of awareness and common sense. Keep your Sun shining. Solo

At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you make me realise that ordinary moslems hate the violence whether against christians or anyone. take extra care sunshine. you are needed as an ambassador of reason in this troubled world.

At 5:58 AM, Blogger Jhondie said...

Thank God your family was not harmed from that explosion. I wish someone would take care of your problems. I hear rumors that my old unit is going to Mosul. They should be deployable by the middle of next year. They are probably the best the country has to offer. I hope they can do something about those damned terrorists in your city. I almost regret not renewing my contract. I would love to help kill those bastards.

At 4:13 AM, Blogger RG said...

Time for you and your wonderful family to find a safer place. At least for a while. If Obama is the new president in America then he will pull the troops. Genecide may follow.

You are a very smart and mature person and you know English, French, etc. well. Your family has options and you can help them make a safe transition.

It doesn't hurt to have a plan ready in case that has to happen.

At 9:12 PM, Blogger Sunshine said...

hello all, thank you so much for your encouraging comments, and wishes..
I appreciate that a lot ..
And Anonymous, this is my mom's blog, that's why we published the same pictures ..

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Dancewater said...

I find statements like this very disturbing:

"If Obama is the new president in America then he will pull the troops. Genecide may follow."

First, Obama has not said he will pull all the troops. He said he will reduce the number of troops. Second, there is no way of knowing what will happen if he does that. Saying that "genocide will follow" is just promoting fear.

Don't Iraqis have enough of fear?

There is only one thing we know for certain: the US military invaded, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis were killed, millions were displaced, tens of millions had their lives negatively impacted. It has been over 5 and a half years now and Iraqis are still being harmed, as evidenced by this blog.

This should cause any American a great deal of sadness and shame for having allowed this to happen.

At 8:47 PM, Blogger Mary said...


I am so sorry that your people are going through this horrendous time in history. My prayers are with you.



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