Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Friday, August 31, 2007

So many things to talk about ..

I had a great time fishing, & thought everyone was happy, I didn't know that my mom burst in tears nor about the bullet that hit the tree few centimeters away from my mom, she hide that and didn't mention it. When she told me my heart began to beat fast and I felt horrible, and started to think what if my mom was a little bit to the right or to the left, I wouldn't forgive myself because I wanted to go fishing and they agreed because they wanted me to be happy.
I felt guilty how I was fishing and spent the time with B and M while mama was crying missing her parents, if I knew she was upset I wouldn’t' leave her, but I didn't notice her sadness (because I spent the majority of time away from her).
After I came back from the picnic I knew that my mom cousin's brother-in-law was killed and left behind him a widow, 3 daughter (the eldest is in my age and the youngest is few months old) as well as an old sick mother, and of course brothers, sisters, and people care about him. God bless his soul. Last year the terrorists shot his brother he lost his leg and every part in his body hurt badly, he lost his teeth, jaw , and every part of his body was damaged, he's still alive but suffering.
Lately we celebrated my dad's birthday, he is 42 year old now, we had a nice time, took pictures and sent them to my grandparents and Rose.. ..
On Thursday, we were in our way to the house after we visited my dad's uncle house, and we saw a weird gathering near my neighbor's house, dad said " oh my god" I replied " don't be pessimist, maybe they have family meeting, or maybe those guys are standing with the neighbors to have fun, see there are kids too ", but in the next day dad came and said he's going to a funeral, I was astonished, and felt afraid because my grandma was talking to the phone with my relative "E" I was hoping there's nothing wrong, because I know E's brother-in-law was killed few months ago, and I was thinking about her other brother-in-law, dad said " do you remember the gathering in the street ? Our neighbor's son was kidnapped, the kidnappers killed their son after taking a lot of money from his family, they asked them to go under the bridge to take their son's body, their other son went to take his brother's corpse with two of his nephews, but they suspected in a car near the corpse, the policemen came and they kept waiting, then they reached a conclusion that it is not a car bomb!!!, when they went nearby the body the car exploded killing them all"
What a tragedy, 4 innocents died from the same family, the same house?!! Leaving behind them widows, orphans, and loving family , I can't imagine the feeling of their mother, who lost 2 sons and grandsons, I can't imagine the feeling of the woman who lost her husband, & her two sons , oh my god, it reminds me of my friend R.
I do feel scared, from everything, even if I try to hide it, but there's a horrifying feeling inside me. Everyday I hear a shocking news, my neighborhood is more dangerous than before, about 4 car bombs were found this week, beside the so many mines. Every street leads to my house is closed, no one can enter/leave my neighborhood, we are stuck!!!! How will I be able to go to school? Hospital? We can't even go to the other side from the neighborhood.
The day before yesterday I had a simple asthma attack, I took a medication and had a rest, I became better but the medicine makes me shake and cause palpitation .. so I was in the living room resting, and saw my neighbor wearing her pajamas and running to my other neighbor's house, It was strange but I didn't give that any attention, then after a minute I heard my sister shouting and yelling I hurried up and she was running saying " A CAAAAAAAR BOOOOOMB IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD" she was panicked, and grandma said" OPEN ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS, ANOTHER BOMB CAR" I started to pray we'll remain safe and no one get hurt (I wrote a prayer on a paper), I also got panicked, I open a window in a room and run to the other and open a window, then come back and open the other windows in the previous room ???????!!!!!
I tried to open the doors but I couldn't insert the key, my hands were shaking in a scary way! (from the situation and the medication) So grandma opened the doors upstairs instead of me.. It's the first time I see my hands shaking like that..
We waited for 3 hours in the corridor, but nothing happened, so we continued our day but with alertness.
I was so worried about my mom, we didn't have coverage and I couldn't call her, after about 100 attempts I got through but we didn't hear each other.
At 5:20 pm we heard a very loud explosion, it appeared it was behind our house, dad was near the window and saw the military car damaged..
This week my best friend came to Iraq, we know each other since we were 5 years old, "O" had to leave Iraq because of the bad situation and because her relative was a minister, she is very lovely girl, and has the sweetest heart ever.. she called me and we talked a lot, but I was unable to visit her, of course .. we chat from time to time, but I really want to see her and give her a huge hug.
She said the Jordanians treat them really bad and call the Iraqis bad names, the Jordanians policemen beat the Iraqis while they were celebrating the winning of our football team, she was there and told me about the whole thing, I am really mad, the Jordanians should appreciate what we done to them..
اذا انت اكرمت الكريم ملكته وان انت اكرمت اللئيم تمردا

Live strong and pray for us..


At 7:03 PM, Blogger Ripama said...


Since you let us know that you don't mind if we correct any mistakes with your English, there is a small thing you might want to correct.

The term "brother-in-low" should be "brother-in-law".

The "in-laws" are relatives by way of marriage. Thus you have "mother-in-law", "father-in-law", "sister-in-law" and "brother-in-law".

Just change the 'o' in 'low' to an 'a' as in 'law' and you have one of the easiest English lessons in history.

At 9:15 PM, Blogger Sunshine said...

Hello Ripama
I don't mind if my readers correct my mistakes at all, as you know, my english might be good, but it is not perfect! so with the help of my readers my english will be better and better by time ...
i appreciate your help ..

At 2:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sunshine :)

Do you think Iraq would be better if the US were to go to war with Iran?

Would you rather have the United Nations do peacekeeping in your country instead of the US?

Do you think that the international community should focus more on the humanitarian needs of Iraq?

Do you think that the US should be brought on charges in the International Courts for crimes against humanity?

Should there be more focus by the US to go to war with China instead of Islamic countries?

At 6:45 AM, Blogger PolarBZ said...

In the vein of the last commenter - what is your opinion and view of the US Soldiers in your area? Do they they treat you and your neighbors with respect? Do you think they are there to help or hurt? Do they try to minimize the damage to the Iraqi people?

Who is it that is causing the trouble? Who is setting off the car bombs and doing the shootings?

Just curious what we're doing right and where we are all screwed up.

At 9:19 AM, Blogger pansypoo said...

dang, i miss fishing with my grandfather. i am glad you could enjoy that, and i am sorry that it couldn't be perfect because of our stupid preznit(this misspelling is on purpose as georgie, the inferior, does not deserve the title president.
you and all iraqqi kids should be able to fish in peace.

At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sunshine,

I am impressed with your command of the English language. Well done!

I want to leave you a note to let you know that many Americans are very concerned about your safety and well-being. Perhaps, the war should not have happened... it is too late now to change anything. However, many of us honestly care about you and all Iraqi people. We want to see your country stabilize and prosper.

I send you love, support, and prayers. I am sorry that your youth has been corrupted by the tragedy of war, but I hope that you will use the brutal lessons of war to your benefit in the future.

All the best,

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI Sunshine,
Your news makes me sad. I wish I could say something useful....

At 9:03 PM, Blogger Linda G. said...

Oh, Sunshine, I feel so much sadness at your plight, and the plight of your family, and your country.
I pray for you every day and for your family and your country..that these terroists will soon be defeated and that all the Iraqi people can live happy and peaceful lives.

At 4:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ma jebi se mala

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Santa Rosa New School Aikido said...

Dear Sunshine: Sending light and love to you and your family. Thank you for posting your experiences. It helps those of us who are striving for peace work harder, knowing what you and yours go through.

Stay strong. People care.

At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Dear Sunshine,

Oh Dear One, I am so heartbroken to read that the more time that passes, the more things seem to get worse. My heart aches to think of all the sorrow your family has had to endure. And yet, your heart and soul constantly think of others. Your dedication and love for your family and friends is more than admirable. And although it may not seem as though God is mindful of your needs, He is. He has blessed you with strong goodly parents who strive to make sure that you and the other children are able to have the very best of life while the world seemingly destructs around you.

I wish I could offer you more and take away some of the sadness and turmoil. Please know that I pray for you and your family each and every day. Know that there are many hearts in the world that hope for your joy and success.

Please send me an email any time you want or can. I promise to be more efficient in timing my responses. Be well Dear One. Be Safe.


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At 12:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eni Sunshine,

Alif Shukur for your wonderful love for your mother.

I wanted to cry when I read all the sad information you and Mama wrote. Old men are not suppose to cry.

I am sure that knowing that you enjoyed your fishing trip gave mama some relief and helped her. She loves you so much.

I hope that all the violence will end soon and you can return to school without all the terror that has been happening.

Al Umir Al Taweel. Like so many others I will continue to pray for you, Mama and all innocent Iraqi people.

Ma'a al salama.

tisbaheen ala kheer.

At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog is heartrending. I have seen the news here every day (I come from Saint Paul, Minnesota in the USA) saying how many people died, and it always bothers me that we are so much more concerned with the deaths of our own than the huge damage we are doing to your country. I won't ask you to tell us how to sort out this mess, it seems that if you knew you would have posted it, but you should know that not everyone is as terrible as those people responsible for the attack on your country. I hope the upcoming change in leadership here will do some good...

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sunshine,
Hopefully, one of these days we are going to start getting posts from you with nothing but GOOD news! I'm glad that you got to enjoy happy times fishing.

Speaking of fishing, your last post about fishing talked about the 'casino' that your dad drove you to. I asked your mom on her post but I haven't heard back from her. What is this 'casino'? Do you mean beach? pier? bay? Casino,to me, is a place where you can go and gamble money on slot machines or table games. I'm curious where this translation would come from.

Now, back to this post. Don't the police check out suspicious cars? I wonder why they didn't check out the one that was by your neighbor's corpse. Such sensless deaths! I am so sorry you have to be experiencing these things.

At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I almost forgot. My other question was about this statement.

"I am really mad, the Jordanians should appreciate what we done to them..
اذا انت اكرمت الكريم ملكته وان انت اكرمت اللئيم تمردا"

What did you mean by this statement? What did Iraqis do for the Jordanians?

Whether the Iraqis did anything for the Jordanians or not, human beings should treat other human beings with dignity, compassion and respect and unfortunately I don't see a whole lot of that going on in your part of the world.

At 2:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunny, the people that make these car bombs have a bad sickness in their minds. They use them to terrify people into their way of life and beliefs, and they aren't just in Iraq, they are spreading out through many countries. None of us can surrender to them. The people in al Anbar used to fight along side them, but now they fight against them because of the terrible things they've done. It's the people like you and your family that will win with strength and kindness. Stay strong and keep your Sun shining.

At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sunshine,
I've just started reading your diary thanks to bbc which described your blog.

I'm from Poland and almost every day I hear about Iraq in media. I see explosions, dead people, destruction but that's all. These are only facts and numbers nothing more...

Your blog shows this what is the most important the truth about Iraq and emotions - terrifying and touching.

I can't imagine how is possible to live in feeling of threat 24/7. I don't know how it is, so I can only write "be strong Sunshine" many people take care of you and your family.

And remember don't give up hope!!!
My grandpa survived Second World War, Russian occupation and now he is living in free country, some day you also will be free from feeling of threat and you will be living in wonderful country.

p.s. I'm going to read your blog every day so keep writing. Bye, bye

At 7:23 PM, Blogger John said...

I am so sorry about these terrible things, Sunshine! I'm still praying for you and your dear family

At 8:37 PM, Blogger jhondie said...

I really wish you didn't have to go through this hell Sunshine. I just wish that we could do more. I wish they would send my unit to Mosul. I would gladly do another 15 months if it would improve your life in anyway. yeah, I have lots of wishes...

At 12:52 AM, Blogger Tom - ex RA said...

jhondie: "I wish they would send my unit to Mosul"

You may just get your wish:

Operation Lightning Hammer II launched in Iraq’s North
By Bill Roggio Sept. 6, 2007 7:24 PM

Multinational Forces Iraq and Iraqi Security Forces have launched a major offensive operation in Iraq’s northern provinces on September 5. Called Operation Lightning Hammer II, the offensive is aimed at al Qaeda’s network in Salahadin, Ninewa, Diyala, and Kirkuk provinces.

Operation Lightning Hammer II is a corps-sized operation, consisting of over 14,000 Iraqi Security Forces and 12,000 US troops. “Attack helicopters, close-air support, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, Stryker Vehicles and tanks compliment the combined effort,” Multinational Forces Iraq reported.

Al Qaeda in Iraq and allied terror groups such as Ansar al Sunnah have pressed Iraqi Security Forces in the North since major combat operations began after the last “surge” brigade hit the ground running in June. Only one US combat brigade is operating in Ninewa, Iraq’s second most populous province, and a single battalion is operating in Mosul, the second largest city. Two of the best Iraqi Army Divisions, the 2nd and 3rd, operate in Ninewa province.

Al Qaeda has attempted to destroy the confidence of the Iraqi Army and police with attacks on civilians and security forces in Kirkuk, Mosul, Tal Afar, and other cities and towns.

Sunshine - It looks like the Iraqi & U.S. military are about to rid your city of terrorists. Keep your head down & stay safe.

At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone must convert from false Islam to true Christianity. To see the difference simply put the Bible side by side with the Koran on a table in front of you and read the New Pentateuch (Mt. Mk, Lk, Jn, Rv which books contain most of the words of Jesus Christ) comparing it to the Koran. You'll find there is no comparison.

The Christian God is absolute spiritual perfection, and Jesus His only begotten Son is absolute perfection in human form.

Allah, the one who cannot beget, is without life, an inferior idea forced on you by a history of war which continues.

Change your hearts and minds to pursue Jesus and become absolutely perfect like He is. Pursuing Him is the reason the USA is a superior nation. Be smart, join the winning side now. Eventually the entire world will convert.

At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a bit older than your dad and let me assure you, your mom doesn't regret your fishing trip. Yes, she was scared along the way but parents want for their children. In the future your folks may decide it is too risky to return but that is another matter. Remember the trip. Try and see if what you want worries them and not push too hard when it does.

Don't hold too much animosity for the Jordanians. They, in their own way, are also having a very bad time. If shown forgiveness, in time the will punish themselves far more than what your & your countrymen's grudge would.

At 7:14 AM, Blogger abresina said...

Hey, this is my first time reading your blog. I think its real cool that your writing out of Iraq. I live in the U.S. (in Texas) and its real hard for us figure out what exactly is going where you are. I know a bunch of other people have asked you this but what do yall think of our soldiers. No one here reports honestly, and i think itd be cool to know about your perspective. Best wishes, and your in our prayers.

At 2:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear days of my life
i feel that hard times that u go through are not as hard as mine. it really made me see my hood and people around me how lucky i am. wel hopefully u know dat i took notice in you sincerly student 4rm california

At 6:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Sunshine.
I am trully sorry for the tragic situation going on in your beloved country. I hope that time passes by quick as it is the only way that this terrible wound will heal. I, too, remember some situations similar to yours when I lived in El Salvador. I remember lying in bed in the middle of the night and hearing the military vehicles rumbling down the street as they approach my grandparents house. My heart would beat faster as the sound of the trucks' engines would get louder as they approached my grandparents house. All I could do was close my eyes very tightly and hope that they did not throw a bomb and destroy my uncle's and grandparent's houses as they sat next to each other. You see, their son, my uncle, was a member of the opposition party and it was not a very good idea to be against the government in power. I was about 13 when I went through some of the situations similar to yours. Of course, the level of devastation and killing in your country is quite horrendous.
Please remember that there is a higher being that has a purpose for good people like you and your family.
May God always bless you and your family.

At 12:47 PM, Blogger EddiePatzsch said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger EddiePatzsch said...

Hi Sunshine,
This was my first time reading your blog, your English is awesome, keep it up! I feel bad for the situation you are in, the events you witness shouldn't be experienced by anyone, especially a 15 year old girl! Keep writing and know that someone in CA is reading!!


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