Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Saturday, July 21, 2007

She faced charity with harm...

One of the things that It infuriates me a lot is when you do a favor for someone , and he/she don’t appreciate that.. specially if this person was your best friend, a person you always mention , think , love and care about, when that friend don’t appreciate the friendship relation , let you down, and face the favor with harm, it would be one of the hardest conditions you face..
This year , I met a girl , I thought she was great , and we soon became close friends , we used to talk together for a long time by phone , I trusted her and told her about my blog and encouraged her to create her own , I though she will be famous , and both of us can make difference in the world..
I started to instruct her how to do that , she even gave me the password and I made her blog’s setting..
Then I was surprised when I wanted to look for her blog , but I couldn’t . After what I did for her , she changed her blog address and hid that from me, I was extremely sad , but I didn’t show it , mama told me to behave as I used to (nice and friendly) , because that’s how she brought me up , she kept calling and I kept instructing her ..
She mentioned her blog’s URL in my mom's blog in a comment . my mom and I read her blog , mama and I noticed that many sentences I used to use in my posts were mentioned in hers ,she quote from my posts and used the same sentences I used !!. I know and I am sure no blogger use these terms but me ..
I became mad and angry when she talked badly about me in her blog , I panegyrized her in mine, and that’s what she wrote about me she made me a cheater ?!!!! and liar?!!!!!
After what I did for her? Many times she calls me while I am busy , but I spend so much time teaching her how to publish and many other stuff.
When she face a difficulty or become upset ,I call her and worry about her, when she doesn’t understand a question I ask dad to teach me and I teach her, I shared my emotions and thoughts with her..
She said I wasn’t her best friend , and she don’t consider me as a true friend… Few months ago she saw in her nightmare that her mom was died and thought her nightmare will come true and started to cry , I kept talking with her , for a long time , while I had to do my homework and I had many things to take care of, and finally I convinced her that dreams and nightmares people see can’t come true , I even let my mom talk with her, she sent me an SMS saying “ you are the best friend and the only one who understand me , and understand my thoughts “ and kept sending poems and letters to me. Today I talked to her for 45 minutes I told her “ you are my best friend , and when I talk to you about something , that means because I care about you , and I wish you the best , what you did wasn’t ok ,when you talked badly about me , in the other hand mama and I found that you are using the sentences I use , and your title is similar to mine , it’s not your style , it is mine , even the template. I find you a special girl , and I think if you write what you think , using your unique style , you will succeed , but look dear , if you write exactly like me , you won’t achieve your goal & you won’t succeed, I didn’t like what you said about me , I think that was unfair , I always mention you in a good way.. It was my idea to buy R’s computer , you said I wish I can bring her one , but I made the plan , I allocated the money , I bough the computer , paid 5 times more than any girl did, I wrapped the computer and brought it to school, so I did that..
I think my idea reaches you , I want you to show your real personality, you can’t be like me , because people are different , remember I am telling you that for your own good , because I consider you my best friend”
She said that I never did any thing good for her , and she was the one who helped me, and I was doing that because I felt jealous !!! , and I don’t wish success for anyone , she said buying R’s computer was her idea and I stole that!!
******************
I though our friendship will last , but I was wrong, I am glad I saw that girl on her reality ..
I learnt from our experience , I should never trust anyone .. because after what I did for her . she faced CHARITY with HARM ..
In the afternoon she called , but I was in my relatives’ nearby house , dad replied :
She : Is sunshine there ?
Dad : No she is visiting my uncle’s house.
She : No she is in the house, tell her it is inappropriate to do that. And locked the phone in my dad’s face.
After awhile she called again , dad replied and she said :
- Is sunshine aggressive all the time?
Dad : no she is not aggressive at all , I don’t know what happened between the two of you , it not a good time for calling , if you like , call her later ..
************
I think she is acting like that because she know she’s wrong , and she is trying to defend herself, but she failed ..
I am glad our friendship ended , I would love to have polite friends.
Who copycat the others will never succeed ..
Real Sunshine..
BTW . I am so glad I was mentioned in “Malaysia's newspaper” , I have many Malaysian readers now..
Dr. Dahlia wasfi , a great Iraqi women , who lives abroad ,had a speech which is something everyone should hear , to know about “life in Iraq under the US occupation” I e-mailed Dr. Dhalia , and she replied my E-mail , she liked my blog and will make a link for me.. I am happy.. thank you Dr. Dahlia..

21 Comments:

At 12:11 AM, Anonymous Simon Columbus said...

When I read what happened to you I was suddenly really sure that you would have written anywhere you learned from that you should never trust anyone. And I was reminded to the words of the Syrian (but now living in Germany and writing in German) writer Rafik Schami: "And if you come a cropper three hundred times. Keep on searching for friends and don't be suspicious!"
I can't find any better words for you.

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger for what it's worth said...

Oh, Dear One,

How very troubling for you. This girl sounds as though she is very insecure and lonely. Striking out at someone simply shows our own insecurities. Again, you have shown dignity and grace by not falling to her level. Bravo!

I too had my blog plagiarized. It is very upsetting to think that someone has taken your words and thoughts and has twisted them into something they claim as theirs. I do not mind sharing my thoughts and opinions, but I want people to know the words are mine. I would like them be able to question me directly or perhaps even thank me for my words. I understand how upsetting this can be for you. But rest assured, your words are your own, and those who read them know they are from your heart.

I pray that you keep your heart open as always. You have so much to offer as a friend and example, there are many people who would be blessed to be your friend. As for this girl, pray for her heart to grow stronger and for her to have the confidence to be her own person one day. For now, be proud of who you are and the difference you are making in the world. You are an inspiration!

Be safe, be well...be your wonderful self, Dear One.

4

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger ET said...

In life, we often meet all sorts of people who does all kinds of things to us. Person A betrayed my trust and stole my love, Person B turned her back on me when I help him countless times, Person C bad-mouthed me to a whole bunch of people etc etc etc. So many such incidents and people are in our life, and there are no ways we can avoid them.

We often bury ourselves in anger and resentment. Why did this person do that to me? Why did that person do this to me? It's a vicious cycle that never ends... but is it really so? The day this ends, is the day we learn to open up our hearts and forgive.

(No matter which religion...)
No matter what wrong we have done, and no matter how serious are the sin we commit, God always forgive us. When we look up to him, when we repent to him, when we goes into his embrace and seek his comfort, God has never failed to forgive us again and again. Why shouldn't we forgive people around us then?

Come one day, you will look up into the sky... "Dear Father, I seek to be forgiven for my sins. And I also seek to forgive others... the same way you shower your pardons on me."

Give your friend a chance to grow, and through you.

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger AO said...

This is a philosophy containing questions.

It's very difficult!

Please think!

I post it onto AH Baghdad.

http://artharbour-baghdad.blogspot.com/

AO

 
At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dont let it get you down. your sunny nature will always make you lots of friends. including on the internet.
starliz

 
At 4:55 AM, Blogger RG said...

Hi, Sunshine!

There are a lot of people out there like her. These people do not have very high esteem. They feel inadequate. YOU taught her a lot. However, in order for her to feel competent,
1) She felt she had to take credit for what you taught her instead of being honest and thankful by telling her readers how helpful you were.
2) She feels the best way to elevate herself in the eyes of others is to put others down that may be more familiar in some things than she currently is.
3) And to hide what she is saying from those she is putting down so that she can keep getting their support on things she does not know how to do.

Your mother is right. To do to her what this false friend does to you, only brings you down to her level. To continue to be positive and yet honest, shows you are still strong, even after this, and that she failed to bring you down to her level. Hopefully, some day, she will realize that, like you said, being herself on her blog does make her appear real. And not fake, something she must realize others will figure out pretty soon.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger sheoflittlebrain said...

sunshine, there is an old saying, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

Your friend must think you have a very enviable blog.

There are many people all over the world who care about you and look forward to reading your posts. There is only one sunshine!

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger bokjae said...

Hello Sunshine, I will email a scan copy of the Newpaper report on you in Malaysia. Sorry to hear about yr friend but dont worry just do what you are doing! Hey can I exchange link with you? Plse confirm b4 i do anything to add youto my Pals! tks! God Bless your heart!

 
At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Solo said...

Trust can be a fragile thing Sunny, and life is full of lessons than can turn our hearts hard if we allow them to. It's good to see people reading your blog from Malaysia. You are becoming such a world ambassador! I have to admire your parents for raising such a daughter. Keep your Sun shining : )

 
At 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let the bad actions of one person make you mistrust other people. In her own way she is trying to be like you because she knows that you have what it takes. Try to forgive her and go on being Sunshine the young girl who people all over the world love and respect.

 
At 7:57 AM, Anonymous Mary Ellen Hannigan said...

Dear Sunshine,

I am so sorry this so called friend of yours treated you so badly. Sometimes others are envious or jealous and as a result, cannot be a good friend. I think, after reading about what happened between you and her, that she is jealous of you. And probably is very insecure, otherwise she would not steal (plagerize) your words and put them in her blog. Perhaps she feels she can never be as good as she perceives you to be. Such a person must repair their own psyche before they can be of any use of anyone else. Until she comes to terms with her problems, she cannot be a good friend to you. It may be best to learn your lesson, which is to be wary of those who are jealous of you. They may try to do everything to convince themselves and you that this is not the case, but do not be deceived. Try to keep these envious ones at arms distance (or farther) from you. To invite them closer will only expose yourself to harm and problems. It is unfortunate this had to happen to you, but please try to take it as one of life's lessons. And please be aware that no matter how well and kindly you treat such a person, they will only hate you more for it. It is unfortunate, but that's the way the world is sometimes. In the meantime, take comfort in that fact that you did your best to be a friend to her and you did the right thing. May God bless you and keep you safe from all harm.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger RG said...

I told Harley my horse about your best friend. He has been depressed ever since. He thought he was your best friend. I had to give him extra hay to get him over it.

;-)

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger Ripama said...

Sunshine,

Just as there are cloudy days blocking out the sunshine, there are friends who make us gloomy.

Sometimes friendships are strengthened when tested by loyalty, trust and integrity.

The questions are, 'who is the better friend?' If you were friends once can you be friends again? Or maybe ther is no hope for mending the friendship.

Sunshine. I have faith that you will try to make friends again with R, because we've all had similar experiences with friends. It's part of growing up.

There is always something about a friend that you won't like, and sometimes you split apart because of your differences only to find out later that you come together again.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Sunshine said...

dear sir ripama , R is still my best friend, she didn't talk badly about me , she is really polite and nice girl , and we'll stay friends for ever .. she also doesn't know what happened between me and the other new blogger ..
I was talking about another girl.
Sunshine..

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger ®űxYń said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger ®űxYń said...

Hey Sunshine,
I'm a Malaysian reader..have came across your blog a couple of times..I know just how you feel..I'm going through the same situation that you're facing..I know this incident broke your heart..my heart was broken too because of the same betrayal my friend made..stay strong okay? I know its not easy but God is always there for you.. I also have a blog =) www.xtremezx.blogspot.com haha

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Ripama said...

Sunshine,

Oops...I apologize to you and R for not reading more closely.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Jhondie said...

Sounds like that other girl has some issues to deal with :) I'm sure we have some sort of pill for her condition in America.

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sunshine,

I'm sorry to hear that a person whom you thought was your friend betrayed you. You must be devastated. It's horrid to have someone you trust to do something like that. I really wonder where you get all your patience from. If it were me, I would ignored her and never talk to her again. Some people really are unbearable sometimes...

But I'm sure you have real friends. TRUE friends who will always stand by your side. Keep on going!

 
At 5:21 PM, Anonymous Kasumi said...

Oops, I forgot to put my name in the last comment. This is Kasumi.

 
At 6:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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