Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back to you, with few lines...

Hello friends, it has been such long time since I wrote my last post (or used internet), I am so busy with studying , I didn't check my inbox for a month, I postponed the interviews , and postponed working on my book until I finish the sixth class my exams will start on 20/6 and last for two weeks, the last exam will be on the sixth of July.
So, I am studying well, I finished mathematics, English, chemistry and French..
I have to say, I felt tired in the last three weeks more than anytime during the whole year,
I wake up feeling exhausted and bored, everyday is like the day before, I wake up at 6 am, start studying at 7 am, I have 30 minutes break at 11 am (sometimes I don't), and then I study till 12 after noon, take a short nap, have lunch and study again from 3 pm till 7 pm, then one hour break and study till bed time, so I spend about 11-12 hours a day studying.
during studying chemistry in another teachers' explanation booklets, I found that my teacher whom my parents pay lot of money to give me private lectures , skipped some subjects, I needed 3 days more than the scheduled time to finish them, when my teacher came I asked her about those subjects she replied " oh yea, I didn't explain them, they are hard and annoying it will be better to leave them, they are not important at all" then she turned to my mom and said " your daughter bother herself with hard subjects which never come in the ministerial exams, instead of studying the important things" , for two hours I kept asking her questions about different things and she couldn't answer any of them, I was shocked to know she could ONLY teach the subjects and questions in her explanation booklet, she memorize them only! But what about the other subjects in the curricula?!!
I perfectly understood the subjects she taught me and could answer every question she asks , but I found out that there are other subjects that I never heard of !!.. At the end of the lecture I told her (while my grandma and mom were listening) that all of those questions were from the ministerial exams for the past years, and those two subjects that she skipped (and the teacher in school also didn't know to explain them) are so important ,every year such questions related to those subjects (about heat and pH come ) must have at least 15 marks in the ministerial exams!. and showed her the ministerial questions for the last 20 years , she made me only answer the questions she understood and could explain!! She couldn't say a word, she felt ashamed, I felt heart-broken I trusted her, and thought she'll teach me the whole curriculum, I was feeling so tired, from studying day and night, I didn't have any break when I studied chemistry I was angry and had killing headache at last I started to cry, I told her "you couldn't answer ministerial exams? I must study every possible subject, not only those I like, I can't leave any subject because it is too annoying, it is my future madam"
I kept crying for two hours, I felt betrayed, at the beginning she seemed a good teacher, but after she took her money( one million dinars) she didn't explain the last 2 chapters, and explained the most important subject organic chemistry so badly, I studied the subjects she skipped, alone, and I understand them and the organic chemistry about 90%but I decided to re-study them and if I find any difficulty I'll ask someone else , I hate to leave a subject without understanding it at least 99% ..
At that night I talked with Baghdad dentist and oliver branch , those wonderful dear friends supported me and made me forget my sadness (thank you guys)..
I thank god for lightening my way and making me look in other resources, I feel grateful, it is not too late I can repeat chemistry 3 times till I have confidence and go to the exam without feeling worried.
The situation in Mosul is really bad, 2 weeks ago, 5 mines exploded just behind our house, the neighborhood was full of soldiers, there were many inspections, I had to give 200% of my energy to concentrate, but on Sunday (two weeks ago), I woke up with so much energy to study, at 10 am a mine exploded, my sister was studying in the garden she was panicked, and ran to the living room, we stayed together studying, 30 minutes later another mine exploded, I told her that I think there'll be more mines to explode( I felt so !) my sister looked at me and said "I'll do exactly like you when you can't concentrate, I will study in the bathroom" , well I do that a lot, bathroom is safe it has one small window,, not too hot nor cold, and it has more light than other rooms!! As the bathroom was taken I sat on the floor behind the library, and "tried" to study ..
in 3 hours, 4 mines exploded, whenever a mine explode, I have to check all the windows and replace the wood laths .every time I started to study that day something interrupted me, shooting or explosion, It was a bad day, I couldn't finish all the subjects I was supposed to finish, and at noon I couldn't tolerate I decided to take a walk outside the neighborhood !
Here is a pic for my new desk, I had to bring another bigger table, and put it near the only window in my room, (we had to replace the others with wood , for safety).. I am giving my extra efforts, and I'll be satisfied with every result I have , because I know I am tolerating a lot, luckily my friends neighborhoods is much safer than mine, they said if they lived in my neighborhood, there is no way they could concentrate.

I wish the shooting and explosions will stop , and It will be a miracle, if we can have electricity more often , I'll feel the luckiest person in the whole world, my eyes hurts me when I stay late at night studying with torch light, I can't study more than two hours with poor light! Sometimes I wonder Am I demanding too much??? !!
On 25th of April, we celebrated my mom's birthday, I made a surprising party for her and invited our relatives, we spent lovely time…


At 12:27 AM, Blogger BAGHDADENTIST said...

hey sunny,
you are in a very critical period of your life concerning the school or the current situation of mosul.both will end soon,the result depends on your efforts in this period,you are a brave and smart girl and i believe you'll success.

i'll be always by your side to support you.i'll be glad to do so.

take care.

At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Roy said...

You have to be the strongest girl in the world. To keep up your studys under those terrible conditions is amazing. I watch on the news and hear Mosul mentioned often. I always think of you and your family and hope for your safety. Stay strong Sunny.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger programmer craig said...

I understand your disappointment about your tutor and what she has chosen to teach. I'm taking programming classes at a local college at night, just for fun and because I've been a bit bored. One of them is Advanced C++. I've been doing professional C++ programming since 1992 (I was a C programmer before that) and I know very well what C++ programmers need to know how to do in the workplace. My prof has decided to teach something (I don't want to get specific about what it is) that is very easy for students to learn, but it is proprietary and isn't used by working programmers at all. The worst part is, it isn't even really C++ programming, at all. It's just "similar" to C++. I think I understand why she made that decision, but I still find it disheartening that her students think they are learning advanced C++ techniques, when they are actually learning something else.

You know what, though? As smart as you are and as hard as you are studying, I can't imagine anyone will be doing better than you on the exams.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Khalid from said...


I have no doubt you will reach your goals.

May ALLAH Guides you to Success and Happiness.

Take care,

At 10:04 PM, Blogger jarvenpa said...

Happy belated birthday to your mother. will do well on your exams. You are a shining example of continuing to work hard even under difficult conditions. I am sorry your tutor turned out to be less than good, that is very unfair.

At 1:35 AM, Anonymous tio said...

Hi Sunshine, it seems that everything in your life is getting more and more stressful, this intense life of yours, imperfect teachers, bombs and your desire to excel in your studies. I would love to take you to play Pooh sticks on pooh bridge which is very near my home, I think you'd enjoy that *sigh*. I think that it's good to meditate on the wise words of Pooh. I'm guessing that you are more Tigger like, but it's best to be Pooh like.
“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
My very best wishes to you and yours.

At 3:53 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

Happy birthday to your mum.
Thanks for keeping us updated even though you are so busy, Sunny!!!


At 2:46 PM, Blogger attawie said...

Dear Sunshine,

It's been a while. I'm glad you're holding on and proud of you. Keep the good work and inshaAllah you will be greatly rewarded.

You remind me of myself, almost ten years back. We had 4 hours electricity cut offs and we had running water and no explosion and yet studying and concentrating for finals was such a hard thing to do.

All the best dear. Study well and keep on making us proud of you. Praying for you :)

At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am exceedingly impressed with your dedication to your education and self-growth. I tried to study hard in school, too, but I look like a slacker compared to you. American public education isn't nearly as demanding, that's for sure. Kudos to you Sunshine. You are an incredibly bright young woman with an amazing future ahead of you! I'm a bit older now so I can relate to your mother's pride in all that you have so far accomplished. Good for you Sunshine!

At 6:22 AM, Blogger Dancewater said...

I know you will be at your best for the upcoming exams.... so keep on studying and I will pray for you to do well also.

As to rivers not hurrying - ever see a river in flood? They can go at lightening speed! And whitewater rivers in the mountains (with lots of gradient) can also move pretty fast. I did whitewater kayaking for 20 years, and I have seen some very fast rivers.

At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi,sunshine,you are so great,and shock me heavyly.I can't imagine your situation.Wish you have a sunshine future.
i'm lily,a friend from China^_^

At 6:13 AM, Blogger Ripama said...

Sunshine: Most people wouldn't be able to see beyond their teacher/tutor's pro forma instruction. I think that as you get older, you'll see a lot more mediocrity with people you'll work with. A word of advice; avoid pointing out their deficiencies. Instead try to enlighten or teach them without them knowing you're doing it. Strive to be noble, and use your exceptional gifts and talents for maximum effect.

At 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are amazing, sunshine. keep going and keep safe starliz

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Sunshine,
I am doing a final for my Social Sciences class and i was wondering if you could help me. I have to compare my everyday life with that of an iraqi teen, could you help?

At 3:50 AM, Anonymous Roy said...

there is a quote "Rivers know this..there is no will get there someday.

At 5:04 PM, Blogger The Weekend Blogger said...

You are so young. I am 16 years older than you and yet I keep coming back to this blog for inspiration. It is so easy for me to complain about my life and do nothing about it...and then I look at you disciplined and determined to "live" your life to the fullest,push yourself to the limit inspite of the fears and insecurities and I find the strength to go on.
God bless you hard and study smart...make sure that you cover the entire schedule and you'll do well. Also try taking a one hour nap in the middle of the day to rejuvenate yourself.

At 3:53 AM, Anonymous Wayne said...

ENI Sunshine,

ALIF MABROOK for all of your wonderful effort. We are all so very proud of all you are trying to accomplish. I have read every post you have made for over 4 years, since Aunt Rose introduced your blogspot. Most of your posts have made me very happy about your progress in your education.

I would love for you to take a vacation when your tests finish in July. Go to Baghdad and spend a few weeks with your grand parents. I want you to relax for a little while. You have worked so hard and need to relax for a short time.

tisbaheen ala kheer and alif shukur for your wonderful friendship.

al umir al taweel inshalla.

At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

proud of you dear...carry on the good work.


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