Days of My Life

Talk about daily life of a teenage girl in Iraq, and days of suffering and success. My nick name will be Sunshine..

Monday, May 28, 2007

Can you live like that ?! CAN YOU ??????

I finished my exams , and finally I can rest now .. the questions were terribly hard , My dad's aunt is a teacher, she was shocked when she saw the questions !!.
I needed to concentrate and study hard in the last two weeks , but have a look to my diary!!.
On Wednesday , Najma's grandpa died , I felt terribly sad , he was a great man, may god bless his soul.
Lately My grandma ,who lives in Baghdad ,seemed tired from her voice , whenever my mom asked her, she answered "it is hot you know , and we don't have electricity" , or" I am worried about you all in Mosul" ,or" I am fine , don't worry " , but mama didn't believe , my grandma is too strong. On Sunday , mama called her and asked her what was going on:
-what's wrong mama? Why dad isn't at his work? He didn't go in the last few days?
- yes , that right, honey , I am afraid that there are bad news. your uncle M. was murdered..
- WHAT ? WHY ? WHEN ? why you hide that from me ? who killed him? ..
while I was listening to their talk on the phone, it was obvious to me that someone had died, I started to think whom , oh god , I was terrified , I was thinking about 100's of relatives and friends in the same time .. When mama finished this sad call , she told me " uncle M. was killed on Wednesday , he was killed because he was trying to save important financial papers for the company he work with , the terrorists surrounded him with three cars and shot him , and took the papers"
I was shocked , my eyes filled with tears , It was hard for me to understand , I was joking in the morning and laughing , and that was changed in a sec , my bright day became cloudy. My mom was sad because she lost her uncle , and she wasn't there near her mom .. When ever he visited grandma , he used to say to me " come and sit here ,but he was fat and It was hard to find a space to sit next to him on the couch ,then he used to say" mashallah you are growing up fast", and I used to complain about that!. They killed him immediately , but they called his family , they said "if you give us money we will give you your brother" , they wanted 15000$ , as soon as his brother knew about the kidnapping story he had a heart attack, he negotiated with those terrorists while he was in the hospital . the chaffer lasted for couple of days. without saying a word about his death.. Then M's daughter knew from her university lecturer , that her father is in the morgue since Wednesday , she called my grandma and told her " it is over , end the negotiations " . Uncle M's dream was to see his daughter graduation , she is determined to accomplish her dream and her father's dream , after the funeral , she stayed in my grandparents' house to study , she couldn't concentrate in her house , her exams will start soon . I also heard about another relative , who was kidnapped but freed versus money..
Try to concentrate in such circumstances?! In addition to a hot weather with out electricity (46 C. ), Can you ?? the Iraqis are the bravest human being , we absolutely deserve Guinness World Records for tolerance and patience .. hehehee .
That wasn't enough , LARGE explosions occurred and caused huge damages in many parts of Mosul ,4 schools badly damaged , my school was among them , the way to my school is now blocked , so I had to walk with my dad , we walked among the policemen, national guards , and walked over the broken windows' glass and shrapnels .. the policemen drives really fast , and shoot while driving ! although there wasn't any car in the street because it was locked . I don't like that annoying noise " WAA WEE WAA WEE " and I kept hearing this voice all the time while I was answering the hard questions ,I was worried about my father who was waiting outside , I gave my papers without re-reading my answers ..
In chemistry exam , As usually I left home early at 6:50 am , to reach school before the exam starts , the way was blocked , but this time FAAAAAAR away from my school , we walked , me and dad alone among the damaged stores and buildings, with police cars everywhere , on burned ground full of windows' glass , shrapnels, what a good way to start your morning?! I reached school thank god , safe , but tired , and low spirited , the exam was delayed half hour because many girls couldn't reach school , then the headmistress said we won't wait for them ..
Some girls couldn't reach school , and many reached school at 10 am (the exam ends at 10 am), they were very exhausted, afraid and thirsty , they walked about 2 hours , alone , without adults to guide them , trying to find an open road ..
Can any teen in this world bear our life? Just going to school is a challenge, living each day is hard , specially when you lose the people you love, and feel afraid about the others .
Our friends' had a horrible night yesterday ,when the US soldiers exploded their doors , damaged their house and took their men at 2 am! my mom's friend is a doctor , she talked with the soldiers they said "it is obvious that this was a deceptive notification because we did not find any weapons or any thing suspicious but we have to take the men " .. they took her husband with his two brothers (one of them is a handicapped) , their daughter is my friend.
I can't believe their kids feelings when they saw there house damaged and the soldiers taking their father , and uncles with blindfolded eyes and enfettering hands , just like terrorists while they are peaceful , educated , kind , caring people . I wish they will come back safe ..
the US soldiers took my parents cousin's husband, " deceptive notification " as well , he came back after 9 months !! his son was 2 months old when he was taken from his home , and when he came back he was one year old!
I am worried about my family and relatives .. please pray for us ..
I have many plans for this summer holiday, but all are inside the house , I'll take photos for my handmade work as well.


At 8:37 PM, Blogger Jules said...

I hope you find strength to go through and bear the daily troubles, it´s very sad to read about all that is happening to you and to other innocent people. Let´s hope that we can make a better future for next generations.

At 2:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Dear One,

My heart aches for your heart. The suffering and indignity that your family has had to bear is immense. No human should ever be treated with such little respect. I suppose that is whay they call these people terrorists. Sadly, I think sometimes those sent to help forget that they are there to serve the people and thus enforce their own kind of terror. Above all else, my Dear One, know that God will judge them all according to their sins and wrongdoings. We may not see the justice immediately, but it will happen.

I know how hard things must be for your dear mother. On one hand she is a mother who wants nothing more than to love and nurture her children, but she is still a daughter and a sister and it is hard to balance all of those. We want, just as you want for your own mother, to take care of our parents as they get older. And their pain and sorrow is our pain and sorrow. Just show your dear mother and father how very much you love them ad honour them. It will ease the sorrow in their hearts to know they have such a precious young woman in their lives.

Oh, Dear One what I wouldn't give to be able to pray for peace and have it heard by all the factions. But, their anger and displaced loyalty makes their hearts hardened. My prayers tonight shall be to soften the hearts of the leaders and their followers that they might learn from wise and powerful people. People like you, Dear One who are changing the world with knowledge and understanding.

Keep safe Dear One and know you are in my heart and my prayers.

At 5:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your uncle.

I respect your hard work, focus and concentration on your schooling. Although it seems unimportant in the face of what happens to you now, It will help you in the future.

Gil...St Petersburg, FL USA

At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just don't know how you keep going forward. I can't imagine going to school under those curcumstance's and taking exams. Your life in Iraq must be very difficult. I don't know if I could live like that and still keep my sanity. Yet you seem to do just that. You are a very special girl and I just hope your life will get much better soon. Please know that many people love you and worry about your safty.

At 5:54 PM, Blogger ahmed said...

Terrible! But I do not know what to say because it is like this every time, and nothing changes....ntohing changes.

Why the hell would you mention in a tribute to a dead person that he was 'gross'??!?!?!? I can't understand what did you have in mind.

At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am lost for words. Oh sunshine. use all your courage to deal with the exams. Try to keep safe. It must end sometime, surely to God.

At 10:31 PM, Blogger sara said...

Wow that's really tough. You're def in my prayers. Good luck on your exams

x sara o

At 12:53 AM, Blogger jarvenpa said...

In continuing to tell your story, your truth, you are helping people throughout the world understand more. I wish your life were better, Sunshine, and I am so sorry about the deaths in your family and these terrible conditions. May you see better times.

At 5:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

life inside iraq is difficult im sure..
who knows where this terrible journey that iraq has been plunged in will lead us, all we can do is hope that the future will be better than the past.

Konfused Kid:
i think she meant fat. am i right?

At 5:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear friend Sunny,

Like everyone else I am so deeply sorry to hear about all the misery you and Mama are going through. The loss of a uncle is bad enough but all the additional problems are things that really make me sad.

I wish there was something I could do th stop all the violence in your country.

I will continually pray for you and all innocent Iraqi every evening before going to bed. I hope that God will hear my prayer and put an end to all this violence.

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Sunshine said...

Yes , anonymous, you are right , i meant "fat " ..
english is not my first language, and remember kid who makes no mistakes , makes nothing.

At 6:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunny I love your reply to anonymous and Konfused Kid.

You are absolutely right. Not just a kid but anybody who never makes a mistake never does anything.

We all make mistakes, if we live a normal life and try to accomplish any thing.

At 10:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunshine, I have been reading your blogs going on now almost a year I find you to be a brave, courageous teen. Let us all pray for world peace especially for your country, Iraq.
Over the year it has gone from somewhat okay to almost unbearable for anyone to live in. But you are informing everyone how it is a Beautiful Brave Teenage Iraqi girl is living with such tragedy on a daily basis.
My condolences to your family about your Uncle. Sunshine. Take care and keep your chin up. HAVE A GREAT SUMMER> Anna's Mom

At 1:24 AM, Blogger Jhondie said...

I wish there was something more we could do. I'll Pray for you and your family Sunshine, Please stay safe.

At 2:11 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I am sorry. There can be no one but those who live with you who can possibly understand your life right now. Certainly not those of us who read your postings from far away in comfortable and safe homes.

At 5:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunny I'm awful sorry about the losses your family has suffered. What happened to uncle M was a terrible thing, done by terrible people. I hope your neighbors get home safe. It takes time for our troops to find out the facts when they recieve false reports. Taking chances could cost them their lives, and they have families here at home that worry about them and miss them every day. Many troops have died, and their children have cried, but the soldiers I talk to, believe in freedom for Iraq, as you do, and as I do. Stay strong Sunny. Make sure your family knows people care. Keep your Sun shining.

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for quite some time. I am in awe at the strength and beauty you show through your writings, and at such a young age. I am amazed at how much you are living and learning in very adverse conditions. I can't imagine. I really cannot. I do not know if my children, our family, my new granddaughter, myself, could keep on working and thinking of school if we lived in the same sitation. I feel weak if I think about it. My heart is full of sorrow for all the innocent people being killed and the families and what hardships they are having to deal with. I pray this can end soon. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows and fears. More than belonging to a country, we are first all human, with dreams and hopes of loving and raising our families. May God bless you and your family and keep you safe.

At 5:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sunshine,

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am sorry for what my government and their military has done to your country. And I will work hard each day to tell your stories and to hold my government accountable for their crimes.

Norfolk, Virginia, USA

At 4:48 PM, Blogger Rosemary Welch said...

Of course I will pray for your family and you. I am so sorry for all that has happened. You are aware, are you not, that they can go to the government for compensation for the damages? Yes, there is money for that.

I hate that people give false information, but that is the only way we can really catch the bad guys. We depend on intellence from the citizens. I wish there were some other way...


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